Wednesday, January 31

damn nice shoes






















the first ones: Converse Jimmy Connors -i realize i'm not the biggest fan of Converse, but these are just so smooth simple and white. and wow. originally for tennis, considering Jimmy Connors is a tennis player. produced in the 1980s.
the second ones: Converse Chris Evert -same as above. except for Chris Evert.
the third ones: Pny Linebackers -first made for American Football, produced in 1983. they're a spin off the shoe called Cricket.

so i really want some new shoes i'm thinking. those are a few i was considering. i realize they're probably extremely hard to find, and if i ever did find them, they'd be so totally out of my price range. but please keep in mind that i usually want things i can't have.

worldwide no.1 in haircolour

so i was just looking through my magazine. i think i'm going to dye my hair soon. well, maybe not soon. but before i go to Italy definitely. i had been contemplating whether i should go completely dark.. or maybe lean towards blonde. i've decided on #72 Caramel Kiss in L'Oreal Feria.

yes. definitely. BUT, before i change my hair, i have to change everything else.

it'll be like.. my reward.

=)

i know she knows i'm not fond of asking

i watched the Bourne Identity and then got kicked out. i was planning on watching the Bourne Supremacy, since i haven't seen that one yet.. that was the reason why i even watched the first one. i have a ton of movies, but i always watch the same ones. in the next few months, when i'm home alone on those Friday nights (which is a frequent occurrence), i shall force myself to watch the following
1)V for Vendetta (since i fell asleep mid way last time i watched it)
2)Batman Begins
3) Pulp Fiction
4)Resident Evil:Apocalypse ( i have watched it before, but never liked it, so i will watch it until i love it)
5)Bourne Supremacy
6)Boondock Saints (since i have not watched it in a while)

and that's all i can really think of right now. there's a few movies i really wanna see too:
1) Little Miss Sunshine
2) I heart Huckabees
3) Life As A House

i can be quite particular when it comes to movies. like, it takes me forever to decide what to watch. it's kind of how i am with songs. it takes me awhile to get to know songs.. most of my current favorites, were once songs i thought were nothing special. when i choose a movie, i'll decide on one, and then when i think about it thoroughly, i decide against it. which isn't good because if i just forced myself to watch it i would see that it was so totally worth it.
like the other day i watched The Recruit, which isn't one that i would usually watch, and i absolutely loved it. i'm weird that way.

but i love movies. sometimes too much i think. i mean, i look forward to watching movies more than actually going out. which is where i can be quite the loner. which i'm totally fine with. it's just how i am. it doesn't mean i'm depressed or anything, i just love being alone a lot of the time. which is why i just love curling up in front of the big screen to watch movies by myself.
when i'm with people, i don;t know.. i feel like i have something to prove, and i feel like they expect something from me. to be honest, i can be really silent sometimes. and i can;t be silent in front of people because then they'll think i'm boring or whatever. which i totally am not, but that's just how people would take that as. so when i force myself to be something i'm not really wanting to be at that time, i tend to feel as though things are awkward. most of the time, though, i like to think i'm just not like everyone else. everyone's all about parties and going out.. then there's me, who misses the freedom of being at home after a single sleepover. i've come to realize i don't like sleepovers as much as i used to. i don't see the point really. i end up feeling utterly disgusting the next morning.. and to be honest, i love my bed and my pillows and having the freedom of spreading out without hitting anyone else.

i'm just a big home-body loner. and i like it that way. like Mark said in Garden State "i like being unimpressive. i sleep better."

going back to movies, i've figured out one of my favorite movies scenes of all time. if you've seen The Last Kiss starring Zach Braff <333, it's when he gets locked outside his house, and he tells his girlfriend he's not going anywhere until she lets him in. so he sits down with his back to the door, and Warning Sign by Coldplay starts. damn i love that song. it was pretty funny though, when i first watched it, i got really excited and then when Chris Martin (lead singer) started singing, me and my brother were just singing along with him. and then we both messed up at the same part. and it was pretty funny. ANYWAYS..

and even tonight when i watched the Bourne Identity, when there's that car chase scene in the mini cooper. Ready Steady Go by Paul Oakenfield came on. when that happens i just think "right on. i so totally know this song."

fuck. i am so weird.

Tuesday, January 30

next

hmmph, so this morning i woke up at 8 am, because i had a nose bleed
then i went back to bed and told myself i would wake up at 10, so i set my alarm.
but of course, i ended up waking up at ... one.
so i went to the living room, with my dance pants on and my Sweet Years t-shirt, and of course my thigh workout mechanism which i carry with me everywhere (since it's so portable and easy to use even when sitting at the computer or laying on the couch!!), and my cellphone, i opened a yogurt and watched MTV Made. after that, i watched Room Raiders, and after that, i watched Next. which i will discuss right now.

ok, so sometimes when i'm home alone, i watch really gay shows like Next, and i actually talk to myself about how stupid some of those people are. so there's this macho guy, right, with the tackiest tattoo on his shoulder, and he had dark hair, and muscles of course. his dream was to be a dancer for Chip 'n' Dales. personally, with nothing but a bow tie i think he'd fit the part perfectly. the first chick steps out of the RV, she's tall, maybe a little bit bigger, and he says "well, i thought it would be cool to start out our date with some breakfast. do you like bananas? i love bananas." so he peels one, takes an agressive bite, and when i say aggressive, it was like a prime example of what a girl should NOT do to any guy ever. then he offers her some, and then he goes "wow, all this potassium fires me up, i just wanna do some push ups." so he gets her to do some push ups with him on the picnic table. HA is all i had to say. what a fucking LOSER. who does push-ups on a first date. ohmygoodness. so then shes like "you work out a lot, let me see what you have under that shirt" he take his shirt off, of course, and then tells her to show him a little bit. poor girl, she lifts her shirt up a bit and he says "Next". what a jerk.
so he goes through all these chicks like garbage, gives one of them a really gay lap dance, and when she avoids his kiss, he Nexts her. the next chick comes up, he asks her if she makes out on the first date, she takes too long to answer, so he Nexts her as well. finally, he gets the dumb blonde who laughs at everything (ok, so what if it sounds like me a few years back), and he ends up picking her.
luckily, she takes the money instead. and as she walks away, he starts salsa dancing and doing really awful break dancing on the grass like she'll regret her decision after he starts whipping out his horrible dance moves on television.

my God. the amount of stupid people that occupy perfectly good space.... IT BLOWS MY MIND

Monday, January 29

576

have i mentioned that
i'm going to the snow patrol concert

?

well, yes, i am. AND, this is also my 576th entry, including the entries from my blog I

=)

my worth has lessened

alright, so today was pretty extremely busy.
went to bed at 3 in the morning, woke up at 9 in the morning. got to the Shaw Conference Center at about 11:30. worked from 11:45 until 8:30 pm. it was pretty good. we got free muffins when we got there, and then for supper we got free pasta AND cake. and then when we left we got free tim bits =)
we did crowd control, it was pretty good i guess except for the fact that i had to stand a lot, and tell people to slow the fuck down haha. and then we did Security for the concert. EXCEPT, the Newsboys never showed up in time. they were stalled in Chicago, and got a charter plane from Calgray to Edmonton, so me and Stephanie couldn't stay that long since we were going out afterwards. i was pretty bummed. i really wanted to see them.
so anyways, this afternoon i was keeping an eye on my section, and these two older men come sit down. the dark-haired man looks at my name-tag and starts joking around with me and calling me by my first name. and i'm trying to avoid contact with him so i pretend to look around the room like something very interesting is happening in the opposite direction. then he starts asking me to entertain them. and i'm like "sorry, that's not my job." and he's like "dance for us. and sing." and i was like "i can't sing." and he was like "neither can i." so i walked away haha.

anyways, it was approaching 9 pm, and i really didn't wanna go to Fever. we stood in line when we got there.. in the freezing cold. and i felt like the biggest loser EVER. i mean, there was all these gangsters, and chicks with blonde streaked hair that was back combed out to Mars, and i just felt so out of place. i was like, wow this is totally not my scene. i felt like such a teenybopper. i hated it. i wanted to leave so bad.
but i walked in, we went to the dance floor and i started moving. and i admit, i'm pretty good when i get some good flowing music. one thing that just PISSED ME THE FUCK OFF, was the fact that i was dancing, i was "in the zone" and all these fucking people just keep walking back and forth, it's like make up your god damn mind already you're either on the dance floor or not. and it just cramped my style. and everytime someone bumped into me i just wanted to punch them in the face. so me and Stephanie met up with Daleen, Nikolina and Nataliya. Nataliya was pretty much mackin out with her boyfriend the whole time. i'll admit, though, it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be.
minus the heat, the undecisive dancers, and the fog that made me feel suffocated. just a little bit.
i even saw Danny there. at first i didn't think it was him, but i went up to him and we talked for abit. he wasn't dancing though, he said he came for the music. he's pretty cute haha. short little portuguese kid :P
AND THEN
ok, so me Steph and Daleen are dancing, right. this black dude just comes up behind me, puts his hand on my leg and his other hand on my tummy. at first i was like what the fuck is going on man. but then i was like.. whatever and we grinded for a bit. and just to be stupid, i grabbed his leg and made him go with my rythym. then the song changed, he gave me a hug said something i couldn't hear and then we grinded while facing each other. then he started kissing my neck, and i think he was gonna kiss me on the lips, so i turned my face opposite of his, and then my legs just fucking hurt because it gets tiring, so i just stopped and he gave me another hug and walked away. haha
except he didn't walk away. he moved onto Stephanie. and she had this really funny look on her face like HELP ME OUT GUYS. and i laughed at her.
and i started grinding her, while the guy was grinding her as well. LMAO. she looked so uncomfortable, it made me laugh. then they all wanted to go on the speakers, but i really didn't, so i went to the washroom where i ran my hands under cold water.

it was so nice.. the cold.
hmm. i thought about Jordan at times, too. and what it would be like if he was there and if i was dancing with him.. instead of having random black dudes rub their denim cock on you. my worth definitely lessened tonight.
i may sound like a big loser, but i think spending time in Chapters would have been equally fun haha.
hmm maybe not. i definitely felt sexy tonight.. even if i was fully clothed. unlike the rest of the participants at Fever.

in conclusion, this weekend was very busy, but very awesome as well. and it was the perfect birthday weekend.

=)

Sunday, January 28

aquarius January 28th

Try to determine what is truly important to you right now, and don't be afraid to dispose of anything that's no longer of any use to you. Since you can probably count on very little support from others at this time, you ought to be preparing to become much more self-reliant right now. And it'd be a great time to start showing a little more strength and perseverance.

i think i've accomplished disposing of anything that's no longer of any use to me.

=)

hoping i could buy you a beer

i'm watching The Recruit right now. sitting on my brother's couch, with the laptop on my lap, Jordan on webcam, and Colin Farrel and Al Pacino on the big screen in front of me.

i think lie detector tests are messed up. if i was being tested for lying, and they had all that stuff hooked up to me, my heart would be racing so fast i might as well lie.


ps. Jordan is shirtless. :drool:

Friday, January 26

happy birthday to me

alright. i'm pretty sure this'll be long.
yesterday was my birthday. yay woohoo. lol. i'm just happy i'm 17. my mother insists i do something, but i'm not. she's just going to order some pizza, and she got this cheap cake or whatever. i think i'm inviting Breanna over tomorrow night. i'm not sure what's going on yet. but i think it would be sweet if she came. i haven't seen her in a while, and if she came for this cozy little cute birthday thing it would be sweet. it's just gonna be my family, and my brother's girlfriend. birthday's aren't a big deal for me i guess. which is probably why i was volunteering on my birthday. which i will tell you in full detail in a few..

so the day of my birth. more like the anniversary of the day of my birth. i woke up at 6 and realized how sucky it is to be a girl those few days of the month. yay. i went to school, stressed over a social final exam, which i was told i would do really good on by my social teacher aka knob. so i was all mellow, until of course i go sit down and open the test and about a quarter in i'm thinking "ok, so i suck ass so far, but hopefully i'll do good in like 10 questions, since he did say 50% of it was common sense.." so then it becomes question 70 and i keep thinking it's going to get better, until i get to question 110, when i think, well i'm pretty much screwed now. and then i turn the page and see a whole essay that i have to read. and well, let's just say i got really frustrated. so i thought "well, i'll just bull shit my way through it." then five minutes later i think "what the fuck. i can't bull shit my way through multiple choice, it's either right or wrong." and it was just horrible. and it didn't help that everyone was finishing and everytime someone gets up i just have to look at them and get distracted and then i know i'm wasting time but i don't do anything about it and then i think about how i'm freezing cold and how i think i'm pretty sure i have ADD, and then i stare at the clock and calculate how much time i've spent on every question. and i try pacing myself, which doesn't work anyways because i end up reading a single question 25 times before realizing i have to read the question. and after all that reading, i end up guessing anyways. URGHGUSYBF. then i walked to Subway, bought myself a sub, and two cookies and an apple juice, ate it by myself, text messaged Jordan a bit, and then realized how it's my 17th birthday and how awful my day had turned out to be. i sat there in silence and played with my apple juice can until my mother picked me up. i got home, slept for two hours, then i got my stuff ready and she dropped me off at Stephanie's. and thats where it gets interesting..

so me and Stephanie are volunteering at Breakforth this whole weekend. what's Breakforth? well, it's a world-reknowned thing apparently. people from all over the world come to Edmonton every year just to participate. it's a Christian thing. like, Christian rock bands and stuff. i was really interested, because, well i love music, and i thought it would be sweet to experience a type of music that i don;t usually listen to. it's pretty sweet, actually.
so first of all, we go for orientation. we get our wrist bands, t-shirts, name tags and shit. and we're like. oh my god. this weekend is going to suck ass. we were planning to scope out some attractive guys who have good morals for once =)
we're just the coolest aren't we.. there were a few at some points. but it wasn't exactly the ideal environment for sexy man hunting.
we go into Salon 10, 11. we're sitting there. waiting. waiting. then i see this most gorgeous guy in the back. blonde, short hair, tanned, pink shirt, he was just wow. i knew we shoulda sat on the left side. we look through my 500-some pictures on my digital camera. and then this guy walks to the front. and everyone stands up and starts singing. and everyone knows the words. except for us. we're standing there, and these people just really get into the music man, like their hands in the air and they really seem in the moment. i wanted to laugh 'cause i'm just immature that way right, but i tried despereately sucking it up. i kept telling myself to play the part. so i was like thinking in my head. "what if God is actually in this room. right now" so i tried so hard. but everytime i'd get into that state of mind, i felt like i was part of a cult. well at least now i know i'm for sure going to heaven. it was just absolutely insane. in a way, i wished i could be that hardcore, 'cause these people looked so into it and definitely in the moment.. i wanted to be in that place too.

after our orientation, went back to Stephanie's. i slept over. we watched Garden State, well actually we kinda fell asleep during it 'cause we were completely dead. next morning we ate waffles, and watched the rest of Garden State. she didn't like it. she thought it was awkward. and i was like WOW, thats WHY i love it so much. but anyways, her dad takes us to the Shaw Conference 'cause we had to volunteer. we had to wear those reflective vests, and we held those long orange flashlights that they have at the airport haha. i felt pretty important, like i had all the answers, which i really didn't. every person who asked us a quesiton, Stephanie had to answer 'cause i had no idea what was going on. my personal plan was to tell everyone God has all the answers.
so we did crowd control, IT WAS PACKED. it's like a mjaor event, and i wondered how come i wasn't informed of this before. i would definitely volunteer next year. it's just weird. there was a key-note speaker, this Christian comedian Ken Davis.. he was pretty inspiring at some points. he told us we have 1) nothing to prove 2) nothing to lose and 3) nothing to hide. he was really good at speaking. i felt like i was hard core after he spoke to us.

but i can't stay motivated. after we walked out of there, i was upset at the fact that i had lost all inspiration that i had felt only a few minutes before.

i don't get it. is God such a hard concept for my brain to wrap around. i believe in him most times, but sometimes i feel like these people are so hard core and consumed in it because their lives are just.. too ordinary. i just want to be in it.. you know? i want to get into the music and be able to say Amen to something without feeling like it's all a joke.

religion's a tough subject for me, i think. i'm constantly sitting on the fence. but i don't want to sit on the fence anymore. my ass hurts and i want to get off. but i can't make up my mind. and i know, most of you are thinking i'mma wack job for making it a big deal. but for me it is a big deal. my whole family is deeply religious, and i've always been raised in that environment, and i'll admit that i have turned to the bible in the past.. when i really thought i couldnt' go anywhere else. and i always believed it to be a good thing.. to believe in something higher than yourself. even if it was totally and completely fake. it's good to believe in something, for that extra reassurance. i always felt more privileged to be Catholic... to have this person always with me whenever i needed him. and i do have my wooden guardian angel hanging above my bed, along with two rosaries, and whenever i re arrange my room, i make sure i keep them up there no matter what.

hmm maybe after this weekend is done i'll have a clearer mind on this subject. afterall, i'll be working at Breakforth the whole day on Sunday, and right after i'm going to West Ed. for this teenybopper Fever rave thing. my friends are going, but i always thought those things were kinda gay 'cause after going to one everyone's all like putting pictures up of them partying HAHA, and they think they're the coolest kids on the block...

when clearly i'm the coolest kid on the block =)

Tuesday, January 23

i think it's cute

so i'm on msn. my cousin Manuela came online. the one who lives in Italy. and she said hi to me.
and we started talking and stuff
and it made me laugh, maybe it's an italian thing
but every word she said had some sort of emoticon in it.
she had a fancy letter N emoticon, a fancy letter F emoticon, and fancy emoticons for
a lot of other letters
and it made me laugh. i look at the convo and it's so colorful.

i think it's cute.

Monday, January 22

i like to stir the pot sometimes


so i have decided upon 3 things, more specifically, 8 things.


1.

a) i want an anchor tattoo on my left ankle.

b) i want a wing tattoo (symbol of Mercury the messenger God) on my right ankle.

-- the two contradict each other, which ultimately symbolizes who i am.

c) i want a small, simple, black cross behind my right ear.

d) i want a simple, black, three-stroke happy face somewhere else on my body (maybe my hip).


2.

a) i want my nipple pierced (SOON WITH LEIGHA).

b) i want my tongue pierced.

c) i want my tragus pierced.


3.

a) emotions need to be taken lightly sometimes, and we need to realize that, we are kids, still getting to know ourselves.

what the fluff

i was going to write about this really odd dream i had last night.
or a few nights ago.

it involved Leigha, Landon, and me. i seem to have forgotten some of it, but i'll just tell you the deets.

-so we were sitting in biology, and this girl i know came out from the overhead screen, she had been hanging behind it and she just came down and popped out from behind the screen.
-me and Leigha were fighting, our biology class turned into some sort of yoga class, and she wasn't talking to me or something.
-Landon was in this yoga class, and the floor turned to this fluff stuff, but the overhead screen was still in the front of the room.
-all of a sudden, Landon starts taking this fluff and throwing it at me. and it hurt really bad.
-then i started picking up this fluff and throwing it back.

and that is all i really remember

haha

sorry for all the posts.

make up the break down

maybe i'll do some bonding with my mother and show her my photography.

maybe then she'll see just how talented i can be.. even if i am pure amateur :P

can i try to be normal

my dad came into my room, second time in like a week. and he walks in, shuts the door behind him, and sits on my couch while i sit down on my computer chair.
he looks at me, and begins "why are you and your mother always fighting. she's really upset with you all the time." and he keeps going from there. and i sit there, and i'm thinking "NOT AGAIN". i mean, him just coming in here to talk to me about it, just makes it a bigger deal. and i have to sit here and listen to him pick out every aspect of the relationship i have with my mother. which i honestly don't understand. he asks me why we fight, and why i talk back and why i make her upset.
i simply tell him it's part of being a teenager, and people always disagree with each other, you just can't expect relationships to be perfect. and he asks me again, like he didn;t hear what i just said. so i said "that's what mothers and daughters do." then he talks about how i'm up so late.
"what are you doing up so late? why are you still going back and forth at midnight?" and i simply tell him "well, sometimes i like to read or listen to music, and i tend to function better at night than in the day." and then he asks who i talk to on the phone and i tell him "lately i haven't been talking to anyone on the phone .. it's just something that hasn't really happened." and then he says "why, you don't talk to your friends anymore?" and then i get frustrated, because he thinks i don't have any friends because i don't talk to them on the phone. and it's like, what do you want me to do?!, you think i have no friends if i'm not talking on the phone, and you get mad if i'm on the phone too long. i just don't get what they want.
then he asks me how come i'm always locked up in my room. how i'm always here. and he asks me how come i don't go in the living room to spend time with them. and i simply say "because whenever i do go out there, mom always tells me to go back to my room to study, so i do. i don't know what you want me to do, i can't be in two places at once." and then i tell him he's making a big deal of nothing. and he says mom's upset. and i tell him "she's always going to be upset." and he asks why and i say "well, because i can't be who she wants me to be. i'm not perfect, and until i am perfect, she's going to be upset. i can't help that." and he sits there. and that's when i began to tear up.
and then he asks me how much homework i do in here. i say about a couple hours everyday. and he asks how come i'm in here all the time, and i tell him because i don't study for two hours straight. i listen to music, or stare at the ceiling.
then this is when he says, "it's not good to stare at the ceiling." i thought he was being funny so i laugh, but he gives me this serious stare so i shut up. then he talks about how there was never this kind of madness when Daniel was in high school. and i just said "Daniel's different." and it's true, my brother can be a push-over sometimes, when i'm the more defensive one. plus, he's a guy, sons and mothers don't have disputes, that's for the daughters and mothers.
and then he said "can't you try to change. can't you try to be normal."
and i just sat there and i honestly wanted to burst into tears. Can i try to be normal.

am i missing something? i didn't think i had it all that bad. i love my mother, don't get me wrong, i don't know what i'd do without her, but since when was it such a bad thing to get mad at each other from time to time.. well maybe not time to time, more like everyday. but i thought that was part of growing up.

i've never felt like a bigger failure in my entire life. and i've never felt this resentful towards my brother. i don't get why they have to compare me to him. he's a completely different person than me. and yeah, maybe i am the worse of the two, but i didn't think they thought that as well..


can i try to be normal..

mainstream

so recently i've seen lyrics of Starlight on people's nexopia pages. so i was like, wow, since when is Muse so well-known.

then the other day, while driving with my brother. i was listening to Sonic. and Starlight came on the radio. GAYNESS.
i honestly hate the fucking radio. it's no wonder everyone puts the lyrics on their pages.
whatever's on the radio is what people put on their pages, and it's really stupid.

fgjdsngbuisd that makes me angry. some bands just aren't meant to be made mainstream.

these are my confessions

just had a thought.

i have a new semester coming up, and i'll be meeting new people.

i think i'd like to stay single for that.. maybe keep my options open.

suddenly i see

i wrote math final exam today. i

don't wanna say anything about it. because, when i think about it, it went horribly terribly awful. and then i think about it, and i didn't do so bad.
makes any sense at all?

no, not really.

so maybe i wasn't doing so well, mentally and scholastically. but i did figure something out today, emotionally.

i'm like Chandler. you know that one episode of Friends, when he was dating different people, he never went farther than the first date because he always found something about that person that he just couldn't get his mind off, and it stopped him from going farther.
then i realized, i don't want a relationship. it's hard for me to open up to people, and get comfortable with them, and i feel like i'm forcing it. and i don't want to do that.
plus, i'm not really in a commitment state. i just want to be by myself for awhile, i think.
i'm pretty much over Joe. which is weird, it always takes me forever to get over people. maybe i'm getting better.
on March 3rd, it'll be one year of single life.
and to be honest, i want to make it to March 3rd, in a way. i've always had someone there. i wonder what would happen if i didn't have someone to lean on.

i guess i just want to experience that independence, and not the pain that always comes along with relationships.

Sunday, January 21

who taught you to live like that

i made some changes once again. i felt like it, because i somewhat re-did Lauren's layout, but couldn't finish because her original template is different from mine, so i didn't know what to change to make the picture show up. and it was quite angering. i'll probably fix it once exams are done. i've been studying pretty hard core i'm not going to lie. why does math seem so much easier after you leave it alone for awhile and go back to it after?

im also still on Chapter 3, with 6 more chapters to go to get frustrated, sooooo.. ya know.

the thing about math, though, is that you can study it and make sure you know everything that there's to know, and you can go into an exam and still know nothing at all. it's one of those subjects where there's always something you've missed or have forgotten.

in a way, i love doing math. only when i know exactly what i'm doing. i feel so genious when that happens. like when we did Circle Geometry, i was one of the few that understood it. i was so determined when i couldn't figure them out though. they're like little riddles that you'd do anything to figure out.

last night at my aunt's place i watched Project Runway. they had to make outfits out of recycled stuff. i had so many neat ideas as i was watching them. i was like UGH YOU SHOULD DO THIS INSTEAD OF WHAT YOU'RE DOING. the thing i was thinking also, is that i would've made a rather simple outfit, and made some cool accessories. and then i had an idea for a necklace that i'm going to make someday, involving bottle caps. so i had two cool ideas for tops, wanna hear? of course ya do:
1) i would have taken cardboard and cut it up into long thin pieces, and i would have painted them different colors or something, and then put them back together lengthwise and sewn them so that they had that flexibilty in them. then, i would put it around the waist, have it slightly open at the back, and it would be small around the waist, gradually getting bigger around the bust. and it would kind of stick up and out at the bust. i don't know, it's hard to exaplain.
2) i would have taken that silver tin foil looking stuff and wrapped it around the torso and bust, and in the front, i would've made it bunch up in the center.. i can't remember what that's called.. damn. anyways, it like bunches up in the front down the center, and it enhances the bust.

but yeah, they're pretty amateur ideas, but i thought they were certainly do-able. i'm going to go start on my necklace idea though..

Saturday, January 20

the bad boy factor

i realized one thing today.
wanting the "bad boy" factor in a guy is something i would see as immature.
which makes me immature.
and it's ironic,
because i was the one always calling him immature
when really, i was the immature one
for putting up with his immaturity
just so i could be satisfied at the thought of having a "bad boy".

how immature is that???

god grew tired of us

it was my uncle's 80th birthday today. i couldn't even believe it. i mean, isn't that the average age of death or something? he's so healthy though. my family's weird that way. they just don't die. and they all have their odd bad habits, but they just don't seem to get sick or die. for example, my uncle, he drinks alcohol all the time and eats raw meat. and he's so healthy.
so yeah, my aunt made a huge meal, and Father Joe and Father Len were there too. Father Len married my parents 25 years ago, and Father Joe is the priest at our church. and Massimo and Anna were there too and Auntie Irene.
hmm.. i love dinner's like that. whene everyone's there. decades ago, my uncle and Zio Nerio (who isn't actually my zio, and how died of cancer years ago) were butchers at the MacDonald Hotel and Massimo was the baker. and that's how these three guys met and they've been friends for decades, minus Zio Nerio who passed away, but Auntie Irene (who isn't actually my aunt, we're not related at all) comes to the big dinners that we have all the time. we're like all family friends. it's really sweet. and it's always good times. and i think it's awesome how we're really loud, and we drink alcohol and we laugh and my aunt always invites someone from church. all the time. i love how my family's so religious. it makes things that much more warm and inviting.

but anyways, after cake and all, my brother drove me home 'cause he was going to go to Heather's. whenever we're in the car together we always listen to music really loud and this time i burst out laughing because i can't even count the number of times we sing to every single song and don't know any of the words but we pretend we do. it's quite possibly the funniest thing ever. so we're pulling up to our house and the track lights are on. so we're like.. umm ok. we walk in and the alarm says "Intrusion - Great Room" so we're like.. where the fuck is the great room. lol. Daniel's downstairs and i'm upstairs, i'm turning on lights and then i see my brother in the basement holding a golf club. haha. and then i call my mother up and tell her what went down. nothing happened, but my brother had to go so he gave me the golf club just in case. but now i'm scared, 'cause like, my cats make so much noise and it freaks me out.

and i was on myspace, checked out this movie i wanna see. it looks pretty cool. it's called God Grew Tired of Us. you should watch the trailer. it's on this website: http://www.myspace.com/godgrewtiredofusmovie

anyways, i want to watch Garden State now, all by my lonesome and in a house that could have possibly been intruded.

hopefully i don't get murdered because it would be a shame to stop the growth of such a flourishing blog.

=)

1/2 gay, 1/2 cool

WHAT DOES YOUR BIRTHDATE MEAN?

Your Birthdate: January 25

You excel at anything difficult or high tech. In other words, you're a total (brilliant) geek.It's difficult for you to find people worth spending time with.Which is probably why you'll take over the world with your evil robots!
Your strength: Your unfailing logic
Your weakness: Loving machines more than people
Your power color: Tan
Your power symbol: Pi
Your power month: July


THE THREE QUESION PERSONALITY TEST

Your Personality Is

Idealist (NF)

You are a passionate, caring, and unique person.You are good at expressing yourself and sharing your ideals.
You are the most compassionate of all types and connect with others easily.Your heart tends to rule you. You can't make decisions without considering feelings.
You seek out other empathetic people to befriend.Truth and authenticity matters in your friendships.
In love, you give everything you have to relationships. You fall in love easily.
At work, you crave personal expression and meaning in your career.
With others, you communicate well. You can spend all night talking with someone.
As far as your looks go, you've likely taken the time to develop your own personal style.
On weekends, you like to be with others. Charity work is also a favorite pastime of yours.
http://blogthings.com/threequestionpersonalitytest/

HOW DO PEOPLE SEE YOU?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy.
They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder.
It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment.
They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.


WHAT GENRE IS YOUR LIFE MOVIE?

The Movie Of Your Life Is A Cult Classic

Quirky, offbeat, and even a little campy - your life appeals to a select few.But if someone's obsessed with you, look out! Your fans are downright freaky.
Your best movie matches: Office Space, Showgirls, The Big Lebowski
http://blogthings.com/ifyourlifewasamoviewhatgenrewoulditbequiz/

HOW QUIRKY ARE YOU?

Your Quirk Factor: 60%

You're a pretty quirky person, but you're just normal enough to hide it.Congratulations - you've fooled other people into thinking you're just like them!


HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?

You Should Weigh 141

If you weigh less than this, you either have a fast metabolism or are about to gain weight.If you weigh more than this, you may be losing a few pounds soon!


Your Italian Name Is...
Annata Rossi


COULD YOU PASS 8TH GRADE SPANISH?

You Failed 8th Grade Spanish

Sorry, you only got 5/8 correct!


What Your Bathroom Habits Say About You
You are very independent and self-centered. You don't solve other people's problems - and you don't expect them to solve yours.
You spend a lot on clothes, and you tend to be a very dresser. However, it's hard for you to throw away trendy clothes when they go out of style.
You are a little shy and easily embarrassed. You often wonder if you are normal.
In relationships, you tend to take care of your needs first. You can only be with someone who's as independent as you are.
http://blogthings.com/whatdoyourbathroomhabitssayaboutyouquiz/

Your Aura is Blue
Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life.You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships.
The purpose of your life: showing love to other people
Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah
Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor


HOW MUCH LUST DO YOU HAVE?

Your Lust Quotient: 57%

You are definitely a lustful person, but you do a good job of hiding it.Your friends would be surprised to know that your secretly very wild!


American Cities That Best Fit You::
55% Atlanta
55% Honolulu
55% San Francisco
50% Austin
50% New York City


You Are 44% Sociopath
You're not a sociopath, but you're very prone to antisocial behavior.Other people's opinions matter little to you. You live your own fringe life - for better or worse.


Your Career Type: Artistic
You are expressive, original, and independent.Your talents lie in your artistic abilities: creative writing, drama, crafts, music, or art.
You would make an excellent:
Actor - Art Teacher - Book Editor - Clothes Designer - Comedian - Composer Dancer - DJ - Graphic Designer - Illustrator - Musician - Sculptor
The worst career options for your are conventional careers, like bank teller or secretary.


Your True Birth Month Is June
Fussy, Abiding, Friendly, Stubborn, Talkative, Sensitive, Executive, Hesitating, Easily hurt, Active mind, Easily bored, Daydreamer, Loves to joke, Tends to delay, Temperamental, Brand conscious, Loves to dress up, Having lots of ideas, Good debating skills, Funny and humorous, Thinks far with vision, Prone to getting colds, Polite and soft-spoken, Able to show character, Seldom show emotions, Knows how to make friends, Easily influenced by kindness, Takes time to recover when hurt, Choosy and always wants the best, Those who love me are enemies; Those who hate me are friends


Your Seduction Style: The Charmer
You're a master at intimate conversation and verbal enticement.
You seduce with words, by getting people to open up to you.
By establishing this deep connection quickly, people feel under your power.
And then you've got them exactly where you want them!


Your Scholastic Strength Is Innovating
You are the master of new ideas, techniques, and ways of looking at things.You are talented at structuring thoughts, decision making, clarifying, and making deadlines.
You should major in:
Marketing Psychology Design Cognitive Science Economics Photography


WHAT DRUG IS YOUR PERSONALITY LIKE?

Your Personality Is Like Marijuana

You're laid back and easy going, so much so that taking a shower is often too much trouble for you!Nevertheless, you're quite popular, and many people enjoy your company. You're rarely turned down.You're prone to giggle fits, paranoia, and forgetting where you are exactly.
http://blogthings.com/whatdrugisyourpersonalitylikequiz/

Your Travel Profile:
You Are Well Traveled in Canada (60%)You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Southern Europe (33%)You Are Somewhat Well Traveled in Western Europe (21%)You Are Mostly Untraveled in Eastern Europe (20%)
http://blogthings.com/howwelltraveledareyouquiz/

Who Should Paint You: M.C. Escher
Open and raw, you would let your true self show for your portrait.And even if your painting turned out a bit dark, it would be honest.


Your Five Variable Love Profile
-Propensity for Monogamy:
Your propensity for monogamy is high.You find it easy to be devoted and loyal to one person.And in return, you expect the same from who you love.Any sign of straying, and you'll end things.
-Experience Level:
Your experience level is medium.You probably have had a couple significant loves.And you may have even had your heart broken.But you haven't really dated a wide variety of people.
-Dominance:
Your dominance is high.It's your way or the highway when it comes to love.You like to be very involved in your sweetie's life.No question, you like to be the one calling the shots.
-Cynicism:
Your cynicism is medium.You'd like to believe in true and everlasting love...But you've definitely been burned enough to know better.You're still an optimist, but you also are a realist.
-Independence:
Your independence is medium.In relationships, you need both "me time" and "we time."You usually find it easy to be part of a couple.But occasionally you start to feel a little smothered.


Your Element Is Air
You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world.And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly.
Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life.You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful.
You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person.With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!


wHAT MYTHOLOGICAL CREATURE ARE YOU?

You Are a Pegasus

You are a perfectionist, with an eye for beauty.You know how to live a good life - and you rarely deviate from your good taste.While you aren't outgoing, you have excellent social skills.People both admire you - and feel very comfortable around you.
http://blogthings.com/whatmythologicalcreatureareyouquiz/

You Are 44% Control Freak
Generally, you are in control but not a control freak. Your life is usually in order.
However, sometimes you get too obsessed with making everything in your life picture perfect.


WHAT GENDER IS YOUR BRAIN?

Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male

Your brain leans femaleYou think with your heart, not your headSweet and considerate, you are a giverBut you're tough enough not to let anyone take advantage of you!
http://blogthings.com/whatgenderisyourbrainquiz/

You Are 44% Cynical
Yes, you are cynical, but more than anything, you're a realist.You see what's screwed up in the world, but you also take time to remember what's right.


You Are 49% Selfish
You are quite balanced. You are able to compromise when it's in the best interests of those involved.But you're no pushover. If something is important to you, you'll get it!


WHAT'S YOUR PERSONALITY TYPE?

You Are An INFJ

The Protector
You live your life with integrity, originality, vision, and creativity.Independent and stubborn, you rarely stray from your vision - no matter what it is.You are an excellent listener, with almost infinite patience.You have complex, deep feelings, and you take great care to express them.
You would make a great photographer, alternative medicine guru, or teacher.


Your Power Color Is Lime Green
At Your Highest:
You are adventurous, witty, and a visionary.
At Your Lowest:
You feel misunderstood, like you don't fit in.
In Love:
You have a tough exterior, but can be very dedicated.
How You're Attractive:
Your self-awareness and confidence lights up a room.
Your Eternal Question:
"What else do I need in my life?"


What Your Face Says
At first glance, people see you as warm and well-balanced.
Overall, your true self is moody and dynamic.
With friends, you seem dramatic, lively, and quick to react.
In love, you seem mysterious and interesting.
In stressful situations, you seem sad and helpless.


HOW EMOTIONALLY MATURE ARE YOU?

You Are 52% Grown Up, 48% Kid

You've grown up a good bit, but you still have a way to go before you're emotionally mature.You have the skills to control your emotions, you just have to use them.


WHAT TAROT CARD ARE YOU?

You Are The Magician

You are powerful and wise - beyond what anyone can see.Deeply complex, you have the resources to connect to the spiritual and material world.You posses the knowledge to manipulate your life and the lives around you.You also have a great healing power, should you choose to use it.
Your fortune:
You have unhidden powers that you have yet to tap into. Soon, you will better understand how to use your intellect and intuition. Believe it or now, you will discover how you can manipulate yourself and others for good.You are at the beginning of a path of spiritual enlightenment.


HOW HONEST ARE YOU?

You Are Somewhat Honest

You do tend to tell the truth a lotBut you also stretch the truth on occasionYou figure a little lie isn't a big dealAs long as it doesn't hurt anyone too much!


Your EQ is 113

50 or less: Thanks for answering honestly. Now get yourself a shrink, quick!

51-70: When it comes to understanding human emotions, you'd have better luck understanding Chinese.

71-90: You've got more emotional intelligence than the average frat boy. Barely.

91-110: You're average. It's easy to predict how you'll react to things. But anyone could have guessed that.

111-130: You usually have it going on emotionally, but roadblocks tend to land you on your butt.

131-150: You are remarkable when it comes to relating with others. Only the biggest losers get under your skin.150+: Two possibilities - you've either out "Dr. Phil-ed" Dr. Phil... or you're a dirty liar.



Your Taste in Music:

90's Alternative: High Influence

90's Rock: High Influence

90's Hip Hop: Medium Influence

90's Pop: Medium Influence

Adult Alternative: Medium Influence



What Your Soul Really Looks Like
You are very passionate and quite temperamental. While you can be moody, you always crave comfort.
You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.
You believe that people see you for how you are, not how you look. But deep down, you know that's not exactly true.
Your near future is likely to be filled with great successes and accomplishments. You just need to figure out how to get there.
For you, falling in love is all about the adventure and uncertainty. You can only fall in love with someone who keeps you guessing.


Your Brain's Pattern
Your mind is a creative hotbed of artistic talent.You're always making pictures in your mind, especially when you're bored.You are easily inspired to think colorful, interesting thoughts.And although it may be hard to express these thoughts, it won't always be.

funny how a few words turn into sex

what i thought was the impossible was ultimately possible.


and i'm pretty sure things are going to look up this semester. and you know what they say... new semester new guy, right ?