suddenly i see

i wrote math final exam today. i

don't wanna say anything about it. because, when i think about it, it went horribly terribly awful. and then i think about it, and i didn't do so bad.
makes any sense at all?

no, not really.

so maybe i wasn't doing so well, mentally and scholastically. but i did figure something out today, emotionally.

i'm like Chandler. you know that one episode of Friends, when he was dating different people, he never went farther than the first date because he always found something about that person that he just couldn't get his mind off, and it stopped him from going farther.
then i realized, i don't want a relationship. it's hard for me to open up to people, and get comfortable with them, and i feel like i'm forcing it. and i don't want to do that.
plus, i'm not really in a commitment state. i just want to be by myself for awhile, i think.
i'm pretty much over Joe. which is weird, it always takes me forever to get over people. maybe i'm getting better.
on March 3rd, it'll be one year of single life.
and to be honest, i want to make it to March 3rd, in a way. i've always had someone there. i wonder what would happen if i didn't have someone to lean on.

i guess i just want to experience that independence, and not the pain that always comes along with relationships.