my mom sent me this e-mail

ONLY IN CANADA...

Only in Canada do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions
while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Canada......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke...go figure!

Only in Canada do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

Only in Canada do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

Only in Canada .....do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight!

Only in Canada do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

Only in Canada......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.....Yikes!

drunken i love you’s on top of the world

i need to get myself together and just TALK to the guy. i'm making myself go nuts.
i have to make this summer worthwhile.
me and Breanne want to take fencing. we're going to suntan on her roof all summer long, i'll be pro at getting off the motor home.. i promise i won't get stuck on her roof again.

next weekend is May long weekend. plan is to go camping.

POSITIVE THOUGHTS CHRISTINE

comparing apples and oranges

it's mother's day tomorrow. i thought about the last time i actually hugged my mother. i can't remember. she hugged me a couple days... i don't really hug her though. i'm planning to tomorrow though. and i made her a card. not just the regular card's saying NUMBER ONE MOM and all that bullshit. i wrote her a personal letter. i made the outside cheesy though, so at a first glance you'd think "oh god another useless card" but when you open it it's heartfelt.

i saw a thing on a guy's nexopia page about emo's. and then it showed pictures of Africans. it talked about how people slit their wrists over things that are really minor in the big scheme of life. i think we're spoiled. we as in United States and Canada. we have way too much for our own good, that we find things to complain about. we aren't grounded at all. we are very weak-willed people and when things don't go our way we get upset. i just think it's pure ridiculousness.

tonight we all went out for dinner at Tasty Tomato. a small home-style Italian restaurant. it was me, Heather, Daniel and my parents. it was really good food. and of course, we talked about my brother's trip to Europe this summer with Heather. it always gets me really down. it's depressing. not really the fact that they're going without me (well yeah i guess it kinda is because of that) but also because i feel like an only child. my brother doesn't even live here anymore.. i spend a lot of time in his room and i even sleep in there sometimes... it's just really sad. i feel abandoned almost. and on the ride after dinner to my aunt's place, i realized that i have a big fear of being left alone or abandoned. it's been proven true in all my relationships... sometimes i think i subconsciously screw up good relationships to avoid being the one abandoned. it doesn't hurt to abandon someone, but it does hurt being the one abandoned.

i mean, i'm sure everyone doesn't like being left alone, but i think i go to extreme measures to avoid it. sometimes i wish i didn't get along with my brother so well so him not being around wouldn't be so bad. it sucks thinking about it... you don't want to grow up. my mom's brothers live in Europe, it makes me think what will happen with me and Daniel?
sometimes i'm just plain jealous of him. his freedom, his relationships.. i know i'll have that one day too, but i just compare his life with mine (which is like comparing apples and oranges), and it gets me rather depressed.

i feel like mowing the lawn

aquarius

Positive Traits:
• Friendly and humanitarian
• Honest and loyal
• Original and inventive
• Independent and intellectual

Negative Traits:
• Intractable and contrary
• Perverse and unpredictable
• Unemotional and detached

Aquarius Likes: fame and recognition, personal privacy, rainbows, dreams, magic, change for its own sake, eccentricity, surprises, and living within their means despite the many temptations which constantly surround them every waking moment.

Aquarius Dislikes:emotion and intimacy, people who show off, being taken for granted, being pinned down, violence and fighting, and senseless or purposeless extravagance of any sort.

A typical Aquarius has the attribute of intense desire to communicate. You are a bit tactless and rude if you don't learn to moderate your constant broadcasting around those whose opinions may be a bit more on the conservative side. You are interesting and attractive. You can be shy, sensitive, gentle and patient or enthusiastic and lively with a tendency to be exhibitionists. Both types are strong willed and forceful in its own way. You are very opinionated with strong convictions and fight for what you believe. You are farsighted and innovative. You are generally without prejudice and quite tolerant of others' point of view. They are good listeners, and care deeply for their friends. To people they are not close to however, they can be somewhat detached. The Aquarius sun sign is true blue and loyal. They are one of the first to sign up to serve their country, and will give their lives defending her.

You are truly humane and known to be frank and outspoken. You are refined and idealistic, romantic and practical, personable and likable person. Being quick in mind and responding, you love activity and are quite reasonable in that. They can be counted on to come up with original ideas. They make good designers and inventors as well as musicians. These intellectuals excel in the arts as well as the technical trades. You cherish and guard your independence and are a strange mixture of caring concern and cool detachment. You will go out of your way to help when needed but will never get emotionally involved.

Appearance
A typical Aquarius female has broad shoulders and a highly defined bone structure. You have long, graceful, swanlike neck. You have a wide variety of interests and because of such characteristic, you find it easy to identify and commune with people from all cultures and walks of life. This allows you to accept many different view points with ease on any given question. Most Aquarian women are lovely, with a haunting, wistful beauty. Aquarian females are often the most beautiful women in the zodiac. At the very least, they're interesting-looking. The Aquarian manner of dressing can stop you dead in your tracks.

Personality
You have lack of self-confidence, and tend to overly rely upon semi-mystical divination systems to tell you what to do on daily basis.

Love
An Aquarius female has high standards and insist on being treated with respect. You will never compromise in any case. You are sensitive, intellectual and you like parties and people. You are honest, direct and will tolerate anything for those whom you care about or whom you love. You are a very generous person, always willing to offer advice to those in need. You do require great deal of love and companionship, but on your terms. You are not that eager to marry and you seek intellectual stimulation foremost.

Career
Aquarius women may not find their kind of occupation for a long time and they switch from one profession to another. Professions that allow you to be free and creative may be best for them, so at one point, they may consider working as a stewardess, do special effects for the film industry, or choose a profession that has to do with the occult.

Famous Aquarians (that i care about)

January 20, 1920

Frederico Fellini

Director

January 21, 1905

Christian Dior

Designer

January 26, 1961

Wayne Gretsky

Hockey Star

January 27, 1766

Wolfgang Mozart

Composer

January 29, 1954

Oprah Winfrey

TV Host

January 30, 1882

Franklin D. Roosevelt

President US

February 4, 1948

Alice Cooper

Musician

February 6, 1911

Ronald Reagan

President US

February 6, 1915

Zsa Zsa Gabor

Celebrity

February 7, 1812

Charles Dickens

Writer

February 8, 1931

James Dean

Actor

February 9, 1943

Joe Pesci

Actor

February 12, 1809

Abraham Lincoln

President US

February 12, 1908

Charles Darwin

Evolutionist

February 18, 1954

John Travolta

Actor

the joker -- fatboy slim

Cause I'm a picker
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I play my music in the sun

I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I sure don't want to hurt no one

what goes up must come down

so Joe got a cell phone ! we texted until 1 am and it reminded me of old times. bittersweet.
this morning i sat with Tracy in Student Services on those comfortable couches and guess who walked in ?!
.. the guy i like. he sat down at the table and wrote something on a sheet he picked up and when he left he looked at me for a split second and i would've said hi but... he never looks at me long enough to actually do that. this situation really gets to me. Joe gave me some pointers.

so first block i had Psychology. we marked our tests, Catie handed them out and i just happened to get my own test.... so i ended up with 78/81. then we started our projects. in my group i have Catie, Hai and Marek. it should be good times. Hai is hilarious.

then we had english class and YET AGAIN we got evacuated. me Breanne and Janelle ditched and went to her house. but we stopped at Corner Foods and go ID'ed hahaha. but it worked so it was all good.

anyways, at her house we made these really really really good wraps with lettuce and chicken and cheese and such. yum
after that, we went outside. it was so nice so we decided to go on the roof of her garage. well first we tried the traditional way she always does it, but the motor home wasn't parked close enough to the fence so we got the keys and with Janelle in the driver's seat and me in the passengers seat and Breanne outside to yell instruction, we started the motor home.

and it didn't start. so we had to think of something else. we got the ladder from the garage and put it against the motor home. it worked ! so we jumped onto the motor home and then onto the roof. we sat there for about 30 minutes and then we decided to get down. WHICH WAS VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY THE LEAST.
yes, you guessed it. we were stuck on Breanne's roof. she called Justin. he couldn't come help us. so Breanne jumped off the motor home. me and Janelle were just sitting there like "you're crazy. there's no way i'm jumping off." Janelle is actually the funniest person ever. seriously. she's so quiet, you'd never think much of her but when you get to know her, the way she says things... so bluntly and without expression, it's the funniest thing in the world. so Breanne was telling me to jump and Janelle was like "NO don't jump. 'cause that means i have to jump too." so after probably 15 minutes of sitting on the motor home me and Janelle concluded that this was a very stressful situation... whether to try to reach the ladder or jump. Breanne even got us pillows and blankets and life jackets to break our fall. nothing convinced me. so i ended up using the ladder and all my clothes got filled with dust and eventually, Janelle eased herself into jumping.

it was the funniest thing in the world. and so much fun. we had to pee from all the excitement. anyways, so it was like 1:15 by the time we got down and we bussed to Sobey's at 1:37 to take Janelle to work. after that, me and Breanne planned to go to Abbotsfield.

we saw Brayden at northgate and we all chatted. he works with the guy i was dating a month ago. and since i really don't like him, Brayden is going to tell him that me and him are dating to say what he says haha.
and then the Abbotsfield bus came and that's when i realized i lost my bus pass. i was so pissed off because i can't stand losing shit. so we didn't go. instead we got McFluury's at northgate. her mom picked us up and when i got to her house my mom was pissed so i left. i took the bus to northgate, from there i took the bus to clareview, and after waiting 30 minutes at clareview (like i usually do), i bussed it to evergreen. from there i walked halfway to my house and then my brother and Heather picked me up. it was a good walk.

today was so warm and nice it was awesome. i was outside a lot so hopefully i got some sun =D

it's me the drama queen

eek

alright so, so far, you've heard of this:
Day one: get embarrassed by saying "i like your sneakers".. receiving a funny look and no response
Day two: get embarrassed when Breanne yells out his name i say hi.. receiving a funny look and no response
Day three (today) : Tyler whistling at him because i think he's hot. he turns around and i say hi.. and gives another funny look and still no response

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME.

Alyssa says that it's awkward because everyone else is doing the speaking for me. it's like.. everyone knows but him. she makes a ton of sense and i was an emotional spastic mess before she told me this.

we just click

today was filled with high's and low's. i was perfectly fine until chemistry rolled around and i got my progress report. my mark in that class is 77%. i was pretty bummed, not because it's a 77% because that's really not that bad but because i have a test tomorrow and i know NOTHING. it's like you're not feeling too well one day so you don't really pay attention and then it comes back and bites you in the ass and you wish you were listening that day.
then i had french and i was kinda bummed still.
i sit right in front of Mr F's podium right under his nose and this girl sits beside me and she is seriously weird. weirder than me and in a bad way. for her 18th birthday party she went to Boston Pizza. and she puts on a different lip gloss every five minutes. she probably has like 20 in that ugly purse of hers. she needs to give her lips a break. they probably don't even produce natural oils anymore.

anyways, after school, Breanne and Matt were gonna play tennis and me, Brayden and Janelle were gonna go too but it was cold today so we decided against it, and once we got to northgate it was nice out. great timing hey. well lucky for me, as Breanne was explaining chemistry to me in the food court, Emily and Olivia joined us and then guess who else showed up?!

the guy i like. they were all telling me to go say hi but i'm a huge chicken. and then Breanne, being the lovely girl she is, yelled out his name (he was sitting two tables away from us with his friends), and he looked over and she said hi and then i just gave him this smile and waved haha. so weird. but when i left he turned around to look at me.. except he didn't say anything. GAWD he's so sexy. it makes me go crazy !!!!!!!!

at least that was over, and now hopefully i can say hi to him in the hallway with some confidence. then me and Breanne were outside and we were talking about Emily's 22 year old boyfriend. he was at northgate with us, he's pretty cool. and then we had a huge outburst of laughter and hugs and "i love you's". me and Breanne seriously think the EXACT SAME THING. i told her to get out of my head. we were at Shoppers Drug Mart once and i showed her the hair dye i used last, and she said she had used the exact same one. i mean, out of ALL HAIR COLORS AND BRANDS in the world, she used the one i did. we're seriously like... i don't even know the word, or else she's been stalking me my whole life.
but i love her to death. it's funny though because this weekend we had a big kerfuffle over the tickets to The White Stripes. like a big fight lol (because i thrive on conflict as she likes to say), but it doesn't seem to affect us. we get into disagreements (very rarely though) but she's really chill and i'm really stubborn that we just click that way. and once she lets down a bit, i let down a bit and say sorry for being so dramatic lol

we're a good couple. but i think i'd be a better couple with....

updated

check out my photography !
i updated and they're pretty sweet.

sneakers

i walked up to Jazmin and Brittany in the hallway this morning, looking all presentable with my hair straightened and nice, slimming clothes on (thank God) and we started chatting when the guy i like was walking behind her. she was supposed to introduce us (she earlier told him that one of her friends wanted to meet him because she liked his sneakers), and my heart was almost outside of my chest cavity when i said, "hey i really like your sneak-- oh you're not wearing them today! well then.." those were the first words i've ever said to him. nice first impression...
followed by an awkward silence for anyone who could not hear my heart beating. Jazmin threw in a pity laugh while he pretty much stared at me as if i was a unicorn. then something went on while i was replaying the horrid event in my head, leading me to not know what happened next, but he eventually walked away from us. then i began to discuss how ridiculously ridiculous the previous event was. i was facing Jazmin and he walked behind me and ALL OF A SUDDEN she goes "oh my God! he just checked you out!" and i kinda gave her a punch and said "you're such a liar, don't tell me that shit." and Brittany went on to say "now she's gonna walk down the hallways like this" and she demonstrated her version of me walking like a hoochie which resembled her taking a shit lol.
and then, at lunch me, Breanne, Janelle, Daleen and Tyler were outside. we came inside and he walked right past me and did not even look at me! i mean, after what i said to him earlier i at least deserve a glance. at this, my heart sank to great depths. but only to come back up again. we were at Breanne's locker and i was diagonally to the locker and i saw him walk by and as he walked by he kinda looked towards me. he was walking with a friend and he kinda lingered looking at me and the people around me for about 3 seconds. (like one 1000, two 1000, three 1000..) and once i turned around he ran to catch up with his friend. and i was like DAMNIT i could have turned around to say hi or something. i really just want to say hi to him or give him a friendly nod, you know? just to get that out of the way. like UGH
Jazmin said i have to say hi to him because he doesn't initiate interaction. GREAT, maybe i could roll right up to him and start another ridiculous conversation. that reminds me, my friend Sam had a crush on this guy once and she talked to him before hand on msn and she was like "when i talk to you i'll probably say something really dumb like, how's the ceiling??" then when she saw him at our dance after party, she was like "How's the ceiling?" and he just gave her a funny look.
i definitely think i should pull a "how's the ceiling?" pick-up line with this guy. i'm not quite sure i embarrassed myself enough yet.

PLUS, i told my friend Bri the story and she was like "oh my God that's so dumb. why do you call them sneakers? why didn't you say shoes?"
everyone always laughs when i call shoes sneakers. is there REALLY a big deal? i mean, that's ultimately what they are. UGH
other than this, my day went quite smooth. my kooky english teacher sang us some of her famous songs. she's actually hilarious, even if she doesn't really do a lot as a teacher, she's a really loveable teacher. and she seriously makes me crack up sometimes.

then i skipped Psychology because block 4 Cosmetology had a guest speaker. and she was good. i learned so much and my whole perspective on hair products has totally changed. she was funny too. she works for ISO.

i didn't work out today, however. i bussed home from Northgate and ran on the treadmill for twenty minutes. this diet is going very well. it's only day two and i've lost 4 pounds ! although i'm almost positive i just happened to check my weight at the time of day when our weight is less than usual. which theoretically would be.. at the time it says on the bottom of this post

PS. i watched The Departed this weekend. i watched twenty minutes of it two weekends ago and it wasn't that great but i watched it all this weekend and it was pretty good. it takes me a bit to get into those kind of action movies. this was twisted, and i was SO not expecting the bang-bang-bang- everyone's dead scene. had a ton of very sexy, very talented actors (Leonardo DiCaprio, Matt Damon, Mark Wahlberg) which made it that much more enjoyable.

i'd climb more trees

i love my brother. he told me if i ever want to hang out to give him a call and he'd come get me.

that's never happened before

black entertainment television

i just watched BET Top 25 Dancers Of All Time and was inspired to get in touch with the classics. so i'm downloading the discographies for Michael Jackson and Prince.
i'm also downloading Aaliyah. you know, i was inspired to get into some black classic music toppers. what i'm currently trying to look for is Savion Glover. he's a tap dancer, but if i could only get some music with his rythym's too, it would be AWESOME. damn. it asked if i was searching for Saving Lover haha
gotta get some Missy Elliot for sure. i dunno if i should get some Tina Turner, i know my mom kinda likes her.
i was thinking maybe some Omarion. i mean, i hate the guy but then i saw him and stuff and i was like Wow maybe he isn't so bad. but for right now, the last thing i need to be doing is downloading more stuff. i'm already over flowing. URGH i wish i had more space on my iPod.

major venting

major venting needs to be done.
so after calling my brother yesterday, he was able to get me two tickets. one for me and one for someone who i would invite. right?
ok
so turns out, my family's going to Jasper that weekend. so i might go with them, and i might not, if i can weasle them into letting me stay here. so i might have to sell the tickets.
i told Breanne this, and she said if i'm not going she isn't going.
and then i was like, what ?
why wouldn't you wanna go. it's the fucking White Stripes, right.
ok
things like that make me angry. she said she'd sell her ticket if i wasn't going, which i don't get, because i'm selling both of them to the same person. not many people buy just one single ticket.
but what really gets to me is that she would only go to the concert under certain circumstances. i mean, The White Stripes are a big time band and it makes me mad when people who "kind of" like them jip the chances of another person who "really loves them".
just to see Jack White live would make me go crazy. i love him to death and i think he's one of the most talented guitarist's there are today.
and then she started getting mad at me for making it a big deal. ok, maybe fighting over concert tickets is really lame, but concerts are a HUGE deal for me. the same thing happened with my tickets to The Killers. i was supposed to go with Will but it got to me that he seemed to not really care. like knowing i have tickets to The Killers and to The White Stripes makes me want to seriously jump for joy. i guess there aren't many people like me.
but what i'm saying is that concerts are a big deal to me and not just some place to spend time at. it's just how i see things.

another thing that happened today. i put my pillow sheets to be washed right, and i was looking for them and i asked my mom where she put them. she said she couldn't remember. so i looked where the pillow sheets usually go. they weren't there, and they weren't in the laundry room either. so she must have put it somewhere kind of complicated if i can't find them where they usually would be. the fact she couldn't remember, irritated me because of simple logistics.
when you put something somewhere it belongs, it's easy to find and it doesn't take much brain power to put it where it belongs. to put something somewhere where no one can find them takes brain power, so usually you'd remember something like that.

i'm so agitated today. and i'm not even PMSing.

pre-occupied with lagging

HOLY FUCK TODAY WAS SO CRAZY.
Psychology was pretty good and then sitting in English they had the announcements on to get out of the school within the next ten minutes. first thing i did was look at Breanne and she had this huge smile on her face and i was like "WTF we get the rest of the day of?!?! i'm going to your place!"
Matt was laughing and in the hallway a cafeteria lady yelled at me to get off my phone. i just started laughing and then me, Breanne and Janelle were waiting for the bus to northgate but we decided to walk instead. it never really phased me as to what was happening because to be quite honest, i was pre-occupied with the thought of being able to get tickets to the White Stripes. the tickets went on sale at 10 this morning. Luckily for me, my brothers girlfriend was getting tickets for a friend so she got me two tickets too. CRAZY HEY. i talked to my brother while waiting for the bus that ended up not coming, and i told him what happened in our school and shit. he told me to be careful and i felt reassured... and then he said he was gonna try to get me tickets haha. that's gonna be an amazing show. 'cept it's June 30th and that's the long weekend when my family's going to Jasper, so i got angry and told my mom that i was getting a job anyways so how on earth would i be able to go to Jasper ??
she makes the weirdest, most non-sensical trips ever. i mean, it's along weekend, 3 days to go to Calgary, Jasper and Banff. i just looked at her and she asked me what was wrong and i just told her how ridiculous that trip is. she always does that too, she crams all these things in one weekend thinking it'll be a lot of fun, when we could just drive around our own city for 3 days and have the same experience... since that whole weekend is probably going to be spent in the van driving from one place to the next.
wow
anyways, as i was saying, me, Breanne and Janelle went to Northgate and we met up with Tyler there so he came with. we went to Breanne's first to get Donnie Darko and then we went to Janelle's. we watched the movie and then when it was noon we watched the news. we missed the first three minutes when the bomb threat at our school was announced apparently. then i said, "wow we're all hanging out and watching the news. we're so old guys." and then i said "hey, what if they close down our school on Monday?!?!" and Breanne just had this smile on her face and she was clapping her hands. that would be pretty sweet, i'm not gonna lie. it was weird 'cause we were watching the movie and Tyler would lay his head on my lap and he held my hand and stuff. and it's cute because we can be like that with each other and know that we're just really good friends. like, i don't think i'd ever have a crush on him 'cause my first impression of him is permanently fucked up haha. but he's like a brother and he tells me to stop chewing my nails.
i find it all quite funny because i missed a whole day of school yesterday, and today we get evacuated after one block. it's been a pretty chill week i must say.

anyways, at 1:15 my mom picked me up and we went to Abbotsfield for my doctor's appointment. got my pills and stuff and then went to guess where????
REITMAN'S hahaha.
seriously, that store is really cool. they have some good stuff in there if you know what to do with it. my mom ended up spending $237 on me :blush:
and you know what the beauty in that is? i bought four pairs of pants, and like 6 shirts. when most people would spend 237 bucks on one single pair of pants
HA IN YOUR FACE :P

lol anyways. my mom thinks i'm a wackjob. simply because of this:

Christine: this place makes me so incredibly depressed. it's like in the movies and they have the depressing department store where only old unfashionable people work who wear the red smocks and the 1920's clip in their curly frizzy old people's hair. where they have the diner's nobody goes to and there's immigrants all over the place. (at this point i looked at my mom with a big smile knowing full well she herself is an immigrant)
Mom: you're really...
Christine: hey it's just what i see. but go on, what am i?
Mom: close-minded
Christine: hey now, i wouldn't call myself that. i am so not close-minded.
that's kind of a close-minded statement isn't it? weird how that works...

and previous to that in Safeway waiting for my pills to be ready...

Christine: *pointing at chair* that's where i was sitting when i thought i was going to pass out. hugging the milk jug. i point that out everytime i come here.
Mom: yes you do.
Christine: *sits down*
Mom: i think i'll check my blood pressure while we wait. *sits down in chair and checks blood pressure*
5 minutes pass
Mom: do you want to check yours?
Christine: ME?! no way. last time i did one of those i could NOT stop laughing and i had high blood pressure. plus, it crushed my arm and it was sore the next day.
Mom: they aren't supposed to hurt you.
Christine: yeah well, i probably thought so hard about how it might hurt that it actually ended up being sore.
Mom: that's your problem. you do it all the time. i've never seen anyone like you. usually people want to solve problems, but you want to create them.
Christine: yeah well... *as mom walks away* i think there's something wrong with me.

she always gets mad at me for walking behind her. i've come to realize that i sub consciously walk behind people all the time. in Italy when me and my mom went for walks, i could not keep up with her and i just stayed behind her. it's not that i can't keep up, because she'd slow down so i could catch up and i slowed down too. Breanne even got mad at me once 'cause i was walking slightly after her when we were walking together. i didn't even notice until this summer when my mom got mad at me for it. here's my reasoning behind it: i'm too lazy to pay attention to what's going on so i'd rather lag behind and make the person in front pick the destination so i don't have to worry or think about that.
lol
after that i went home and slept until.. 7 =)

anyways, i got everything out so i shall chat with you laterrrr

sticky notes

i told my mom about the dream i had a long time ago about her being stabbed. she told me that her mom used to say that if you dream about someone dying, you actually lengthen their life. i thought that was cool.
you know how you always hear about old ladies and their superstitions? my nonna and my great aunts are exactly like that. it's awesome 'cause they have all those sayings and stuff like that. when i go to Italy, i'd do something and then my aunt would pull me in and tell me what my great grandmother used to say. it's awesome.

i was listening to a slow song from Bloc Party a few days ago and i turned my head and stared at my couch and images went flying about Mr Mystery hahaha

there's this other guy i see in the hallway, someone who i was involved with last year and i very rarely see him, but ITS SO WEIRD, whenever i do, he always seems to come up in my dreams that night.

crazy

my obituary

the picto-personality test

You are a person who is very calm and kind. You go out of your way to help people who need your help.
When alone, you like to relax and do exactly what you feel like doing at the time.
You are adventurous, always up to do the most extreme things. You have a certain recklessness that makes people very attracted to you.
In the future you will be wise and healthy.

PFFFT

me

do you ever think none of this is for real?
truthfully, in the larger scheme of things
nothing is ever for real compared to something else. it's the end of the world everyday. yesterday's ordeal was no big deal. tomorrow we can only hope isn't dooms day.
we keep going anyways

that's what i told Breanne

i love Breanne because she can be the biggest dork one minute and the next she could look at me seriously and ask me if i think i've changed.
while walking through Northgate today, she asked me, "do you think you're different from how you were in junior high?" i said,
"oh yeah definitely." i looked up at the heavens then said, "actually you know what, i don't really think so." then i consulted the heavens again and said, "well i mean, i guess yeah. of course."
then she said,
"do you think you changed immediately or was it like gradual? like was there something that happened that was like --"
i interrupted, "life changing?"
"yeah."
we walked onto the escalator and i began,
"i 'd say summer after grade nine was when things kind of changed. it's not really a big deal, but it's changed my view on things now. like i went out with that one guy for two weeks. i remember my cousin slept over at my house for like two weeks. she was also the one who gave me my first cigarette. but anyways, she was on my brothers laptop in my room, and i was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and when we hung up on eachother we said "i love you." that's when my cousin gave me this huge lecture on how i don't know what love is and obviously, i was defending myself. a week later he dumped me and wasn't answering my calls. i was with my cousin bawling my eyes out to the point where i almost threw up. i don't think i had ever cried that hard in my life. now when i think back to that, i see myself as a really dumb fifteen year old who thought she loved someone and the whole thing just embarrasses me. i can't believe i cared so much about the circumstances. but that's why i see relationships the way i do now. i mean, there was Stephane.. but he was the only one after Tyler. i always hear my cousins lecture everytime i think about love. it's ridiculous."

that's what i told Breanne.