getting better

so i've been working hard. it has been one day. i wish you could be super healthy one day and times it by 3 months. and see what you'd look like if you did that every single day. hmmph. had school. i would like to highlight English class. so she pretty much assigns us a mind map (includes drawing) due for Friday, which gives me uhhh 3 days. and it involves drawing. UM EXCUSE ME if i wanted to draw i would have taken art, ok? second of all, i have a chemistry quiz tomorrow, a chemistry final exam part A the day after AND a chemistry final exam part B the day after the day after. this week just sucks. MAJORLY.
so for once i actually looked forward to working out after school. Leigha couldn't go and i was about to not go, but i figured if i keep backing out of it i'll never do it. so i went, and luckily for me Amanda happened to be there too. we had a lot of fun working out actually. time went by really fast. we were in there for like an hour.
then i went home, had one grilled cheese sandwich and a banana for supper, and two bowls of salad. and then later on i had a yogurt.
and then i put my face mask on, then my brother left for Heather's house. 'cause tomorrow morning he's going to Toronto until Sunday. damn. it's gonna be so lonely this weekend. i'll be in his room watching movies and playing video games, and there's going to be no one there.
there's so much on my mind right now i just have to write it down so i know i won't forget it.
- go to doctor on Saturday
- go to Orthodontist on Friday
- go to Fresh Start tomorrow
- work out work out work out
- call AMA, or sign up for the driver's ed at beginning of March
- go tanning at some point
- NO EATING AFTER 7 PM
- drink more water
- wear retainers at night
- write an i love you note for my 'rents and put it under their pillow before bed
- do homework and study and DO GOOD
-

ok good. thats all thats on my mind right now. now i can go talk about whatever i want.
i took a bath and i could hear my mom talking on the phone. i like to stick half my head under the water and turn my head slightly to the right and left until my ears are fully popped. and i like to just sit there with my ears underwater hearing nothing. and then i got up and i was happy my mom was on the phone. she never used to talk on the phone a lot. but her best friend was diagnosed with cancer in September, so they talk on the phone all the time. and sometimes i hear what she talks about and its cool to see my mom being a best friend to someone. i dunno, it's weird cool. anyways, i heard her talk about my uncle and how he's coming this summer. she was talking about their kids (my cousins) and how they're really strict with them, especially Lodovico and he's only like 6 years old. this kid is just crazy, he can't be contained. HE DROVE ME NUTS. he's the reason i'm never having kids (i don't think). anyways, my uncle gets mad at him for everything, when he should cut him some slack and let him put his elbows on the table once in a while. and that made me think, what if they're parenting techniques are so completely wrong. and then i thought, what if my parents didn't raise me properly. i was in Psychology and we were talking about how kids are important because they're like sponges, soaking up everything. and that made me wonder.. i mean, what if my parents did one thing wrong in raising me.. that could ruin my whole life if they made a simple mistake when i was a kid.
thats part of the reason why i don't think i'll ever be able to handle kids. i'd be so uptight with everything i do, just so i won't screw up.

and then i thought, well wouldn't it be just as bad if everything went perfectly ? i mean, isn't it better to have some mistakes rather than everything be completely perfect ?

hmm i don't know.