perhaps i don't see the reason in sharing anymore.  i've come to realize that what i've been feeling and going through is beyond words, and so i don't feel pressure to try to explain it.  mid-sentence, i just stop and tell myself.. its ok if the person doesn't actually know exactly what its like to be in my shoes at this moment.  i decide to just leave it in my head and in my heart where it really matters.

which is why i won't even try to explain to you how amazing my life seems to be going. i find that when i don't stress about things, everything falls into place. for example, when i bought my graduation dress, i didnt really stress over getting the absolute perfect one. i just got the first one that looked decent and everytime i try it on i love it even more.

also, i am accepted to the Bachelor of Design program at the university of alberta.. i'm enrolled in all my classes which consist of:

fall term

art

design

philosophy

fuck it. i don't even want to write what my classes are because i feel like it's so irrelevant to whoever it is that is reading this. i'll just keep it inside.

for some real substance, however, i will add that whenever i tell people what i'll be doing next year, they always look at me funny and ask "so what exactly is that?  what will you be doing?"  it's like people around here are so accustomed to those 9 to 5 jobs like doctors and dentists and teachers that when they hear someone doing Design, it's like their minds are so simple and box-y that they have absolutely no clue!

anyways, im on my brothers new 24 inch iMac which blows my mind.  but i get his laptop so it's pretty awesome.

i leave in less than a month to LONDON and then ITALY

and today i got my Bloc Party tickets for September 9!

woohoo

i had a meeting yesterday at the U of A with the art and design councilor and everything's pretty peachy.  we talked about my brother, and Heather and how the Printmaking facilities at the u of a are top of the line... which was later confirmed by my brother.'

i'm just really excited to be where i belong next year, you know?  my brother said i'll be staying long nights at the studio, and that i'll become like family with the people in my studio classes and i'll meet awesome people and go to the bars with them and my eyes will be opened up to a completely new lifestyle. my brother was speaking from experience. 

and although my schedule's seem like a complete joke, it's going to be hard hard work. and frsutrating too. but i know i will totally love it. if i can listen to music and be creative, i know i will enjoy every minute of it. thats what i love about art and design, if you don't understand something one way, you can use your creativity to work around it and figure out a way to do something differently.  you can't do that stuff when it comes to sciences or math.  

i am just retardedly and ridiculously excited for my future endeavors.