January 4, 2008

Amelie was my favorite movie. I jsut watched it while being fully awake and all in one sitting.

I dont know how else to put it, but i am Amelie. I feel as though I am completely connected to her situation.

The way she imagined his hand in the doorway, then to see it was only her cat.
I cried. For her. For me. For the fact that she got him in the end. Their closeness in the end.. i could feel it on my skin.

Although i told myself no resolutions, i feel like i am wasting this opportunity at a new start. it's a false security. new starts can happen at any time in your life. i do not need the digit to increase by one in the year i am presently in to decide what needs fixing in my life. Just to get that straight. Now i can safely make some sort of resolution.
There has to be some trick to making a resolution. Nothing superficial though, it has to be general.

For 2008, my resolution will be to come into my own.

I said general, but it came out rather vague. No one can really be sure of what it means, but that's what's positive about it.

I am certain about this: i am lovesick. it's like i am so obsessed with the idea of love, that i will avoid anything pertaining to it. what an awful realization! what a difficult, lonely life i'll have.

a fish out of water. i need to get back in.

January 9, 2008

stand in the dark and alone. now think of all your worst nightmares.