i was so wanting to write about events of these past days. now i'm too lazy and i've lost all motivation to write those events.

sub-consciously i know it's better to leave it unpublished because .. well because.

or maybe that's just the excuse i'm sticking to because there are a lot of parts i don't really remember.

me and Breanne and a ghost from my past (an attractive one at that) smoked up and there's always little comments that make you laugh and you file it away in the brain and never remember them after that moment.

i wish i could remember. i love things that make me laugh. somehow it's depressing to think that these hilarious comments during a nice blaze are lost in the twilight zone, never to be found again.

as for the ghost of my past. i did not forget that. it's weird. definitely weird.

this is the last position i ever thought i'd be in. it's like fucking with my brain or something. like i've been rewinded.

i don't want it to be like a year ago though. i mean, it's so done! i should be moving on.
i think i'm in though. i think? we haven't discussed it and in no way am i bringing it up. i brought it up the other night when we were texting. i hate talking about it. i force myself to hate it because when i think about it i tend to create a DISASTER.

nobody likes disaster's.

i don't think i'll even mention his name. but it does start with a J.

LOL