my mom said that on Montel there was this lady who got fired from her job because of her employers found her online journal and facebook.
nice hey.

what i do today will come back in the future, my mom said. maybe so. which made me think. what if this journal and all these online things will come back when i'm older and prevent me from doing what i really want to do. it's enough to consider stopping this writing madness. or go private. i've considered making this private before.. just so i could write whatever i feel. i didn't think people actually read this until i said some controversial things here and there and got angry comments and such, and it was then i realized people actually read this.

it's like those adertisements everywhere that say "caught you looking" and at the end of the day, you feel like you've been sucked into looking at every single one of those advertisements, when you really looked at a reasonable average number of advertisements, but it seems like you've been sucked into the media because they tell you that you've been "caught looking".

i don't know what relevance that had to anything.

i mean, i can't keep writing in this forever, right? sometimes i think i'll end up with 15 000 entries, and talking about my children at my ripe age of 17.

i always thought 17 was the best year ever. you're not 16, which is sometimes perceived as a sweet year, 18 you're an adult, but 17 is the coolest year to be a teenager. yes you can go to bars when you're 18, but when i was a kid i always wanted to be 17 because i thought it was pretty darn cool to be 17 years old.

though i still have 170 days to enjoy being 17, it never feels like you always imagined.