i was always told that people who watch a lot of television are prone to depression. i now know why.
after watching the second episode of West Beverly's Class of 1993 graduation, i realized i myself am graduating this year, and this makes me very very depressed.

i want what they have, you know? that close group of friends.. the group of friends that you know, without even asking, are going to be sharing a limo with you. i got Breanne i know that for sure.

i remember before high school even began, my friend Samantha who was a senior the year i was in grade ten. she told me a story of how she had a friend in grade ten who she met just because they sat right next to each other in class and they became like best friends. and that's what Breanne kind of is to me. i don't really talk about her a lot because we've known each other for barely a year, but i can honestly say she's my best friend at this point in time. it's true, i began high school knowing i had Leigha at my side to conquer it with me, but after a year our friendship kind of fell apart on my account. i think the trouble with us was that we were with each other since we were 3 years old, we always grew up at dance together, and after the first year of high school took a toll on us, it also took a toll on our friendship. as we started growing into the people we're supposed to be (partly influenced by high school), we, well I, realized i wasn't enjoying my time around this person as much as i used to. there's always those hundreds maybe even thousands of pictures of memories together that i will never forget, but it's like that saying, it's not the pictures that change, it's the people in the pictures that do.

i feel like i'm the only person that realized it out of the two of us. i changed and so did she, and i constantly felt it was a struggle to enjoy myself. i know i'll always have a spot there for her in my heart, but it'll never be the way it used to.

Breanne's my partner in crime, it's a totally different friendship than i've ever had. it's not like my past ones where i tended to over-analyze them.. if something she does seems sketchy, i don't really question it like i used to do. another difference i find is that we don't need to see each other all the time in order to keep our friendship in tact. i only have one other friendship that's capable of doing that, and that is with my best friend Breanna who goes to AOB, and we only really see each other a few times a year.

i am so off track.


grade ten was all about getting to know people, falling in love and getting over a horrible break-up. grade eleven was about re-establishing myself. maybe those two years is all i need to really get going