plain and simple

Europe or Work ?
my mother doesn't want me to go to Europe this summer with my brother. she said she wanted me to get a job and stay here. i love how she just makes my life so much more complicated than it really has to be. everything in my life has such bad timing. i really want a job, like so bad, but my mom won't let me have one now. i really want to go to Europe, i've been wanting to go back ever since i came home from Italy last summer. i'll make a pro's list:
EUROPE
- i get to spend time with my brother
- i get to visit even more places
- i get to see family
- i get to leave this country for a while
- it's Europe, i love the culture
- i'll be able to visit famous places.. and the art OHMYGOD

CANADA
- i can get a job
- i can make money
- i can see friends
- i can practice driving
- i can go on a small trip somewhere
- i could spend time with Jordan

but holy fuck, it's actually retarded. last summer i didn't even want to go to Italy because it was with my mom, i even told her to cancel my flight . there was no way i could handle being with my mom for one month day in and day out. now that i have a chance to go be without my parents for a while, she says i can't go, which means i'll be here every single day and i'll have to deal with her day in and day out. I JUST CAN'T GET AWAY CAN I? it actually makes me so angry. at least in Italy i could go party til all hours of the night because i could walk home whenever i wanted. here, i won't be able to do ANYTHING because she doesn't stay up late to pick me up.
then i thought, i could get a job at a place i really love. maybe i could even go work on Whyte Ave, and bus it there or whatever, and after work i could hang out there and stuff, and then bus it back home. i just don't want to be home this summer. i mean, two summer ago when i didn't go to Italy, i played The Sims like EVERYDAY. everyone was gone and i spent hours and hours on the sims.. like 8 hours in a row sometimes. i don't want to do that. and i can see it happening again. well, besides the whole job aspect of it.
or maybe i could work at west ed (ew) and i could chill with Jamie and stuff. and we could party all the time too.

i just want my mom to understand that if i don't go to Italy because of what she wants, she better let me have a fucking wicked summer. and then in August Jordan's getting his license.. we'd be able to do a lot more.

UGHHHHHHHHH. this is just a huge bowl of suckiness. plain and simple.