night moves

i thought Ryan was going to die. i would have cried my eyes out. literally cried my eyes out. i cried first season when Seth left on his sialboat and Ryan left to Chino, i cried when Trey got shot, i cried when Marissa overdosed, i cried my eyes out when Marissa died, and i would have cried even more if Ryan died. INTENSE. i'm such a loser. i honestly think there's something wrong with me. i don't even cry for REAL LIFE things anymore. me and Leigha got into a huge fight a few days ago, and she cried.. and i just couldn't cry. i can't cry for anything. anything but movies and The OC. the show was so good. besides some minor outbreaks yelling at the screen at some of the dumb shit that goes on.
i thought it was so cute (SO CUTE) how Seth donated blood for Ryan, and i thought it was awesome how Kursten's baby was ok and it was a girl. i actually sat up in my seat and said aww. that is the cutest thing i ever heard. Sandy and Kursten don't have a girl, and the fact that now they will, just makes me so happy inside.
but i told my mom that i would commit suicide if Ryan died. she looked at me. and i laughed. that show just gets to me man.
it just fucking gets to me.
the things i found retarded are as follows: 1) how a fucking bunny was saved in the process, like it was a human being. jesus christ, i eat rabbit, they're not that special. and i'm not being harsh. i'm just being reasonable here. 2) how Taylor was walking around waving a gun around in the air. it's like disaster waiting to happen, even worse than an earthquake. 3) how dramatic the ice cream guy was in declaring his love for Kaitlyn in a time of tragedy. i mean honestly, there's an earthquake and madness all over the city and all he cares about is being a fucking cheeseball and creating unnecessary drama. that actually got to me.
i would like to declare that i love Ryan and Seth the most out of everyone. my mom thought it was the last show. but there's one more. and the Cohen house is completely destroyed man. and i didn't get why they were so devastated. there was a pelican in their house. but they're rich.. it shouldn't be a huge deal. i'd be worried about crushed computers and CDs and ruined shoes maybe.. and Baby and Boots of course. holy crappies. i don't know what i would do if Baby and Boots died. *knock on wood* last time i said that, my cat died the next day.
i miss Smokey.

there was a really good song in The OC tonight. it was by Radiohead, i know it. i could so tell by his voice. it was playing quite a bit actually. at the beginning, and when Ryan was about to black out. i was so tense. i was about to leave.
i could not handle another death on that show.
unless it was Taylor of course. then i wouldn't really care.

ps. me and Leigha talked on the phone today. first time in a very long time. and i would like to re-state, like a renew-age of wedding vows almost, that i love her no matter what happens in this world.
if it was me and her in that earthquake, i would've sheltered her and taken the piece of glass in the back like Ryan did. no questions asked.