i'm going to re-arrange my room

again

OH MY GOODNESS

can you seriously see anything good in your life?
since i've met you, i think you've been complaining about the same thing then that you are now.
it's frustrating to even know people like you exist.

yesterday i worked until 4 and then spent the rest of the day with Heather. we went to Kelsey's new house and helped move their Twee equipment into her basement, which is the new Twee domain.. it was formerly in Heather's parents basement. basically, Twee is their jewellry line that was started two years ago. they've gotten a lot bigger and it was sold at Heather's hair salon and Nakomis on whyte ave. they recently got accepted into shows in New York next month and San Francisco in July. they're getting pretty fucking successful, it's sweet.

after that we went back to Heathers place and ordered Vietnamese mmmm... and then we took Chloe for a walk and drank tea while swinging on the swings.. its always so weird when im around there because Vitto's house is RIGHT THERE and i can't help but think about him all the time.. it's awful... i always wonder if he's home, what he's up to, if he can hear me talk on the street, or if he knows i'm only a few houses away...

anyways, we went to see Baby Mama and it was a pretty good movie.
and then i stayed over and slept in for the first time in a long while.

i just love being with Heather and my brother. and sometimes it's weird to think of how close i've really become with Heather.. i totally forget sometimes that she's 23 years old and also dating my brother.

she does so much for me though... i would be completely lost without her and my brother.

Last night i went to the University to see a speaker.
I met Stefan Sagmeister, a really famous and talented designer. I even bought his book and got it signed! YAY for me!!

it was an awesome presentation, and he is the cutest thing i've ever seen. he's from Austria and he is an amazing story teller. it was definitely worth not reading the necessary chapters for today's english exam. haha

SO GOOD. please, if you are reading this, GOOGLE STEFAN SAGMEISTER RIGHT NOW!!!

carrying on... today i got a letter from the Alberta College of Art and Design, only the best post secondary for design in all of Alberta! and i got

PROVISIONALLY ACCEPTED!! i know it's stupid to get excited, because i won't be attending the school (because i can't afford to live on my own right now), but just to know that i got into this renowned school of approximately 1100 people literally makes my entire life.

i've planned for awhile now that i would stay at home until i receive my bachelor in visual communication design, and once i get there if i am more into photography, i'll move to Los Angeles and attend the American Film Institute to do direction of photography.. but if i find myself leaning more towards design, i'll move to Holland and get my master's there.

i know Holland is far fetched, but it's completely possible. Heather (my brother's girlfriend) is moving there in August because she got into this grad school in Eindhoven for design, and my brother is wanting to move there with her in December... he said he would see me through my first semester and then leave his shitty graphic design job here in Deadmonton and find a wicked job in Holland... so i'm thinking by the time i've got my bachelor's, they will probably still be living there... making it possible for me to move there.

and it's awesome to think about, because in the design industry, having connections is so important... with Heather going to this prestigious grad school, and my brother living in Holland with her, they'll be able to pass on to me their connections.

my future has never looked brighter. and i can't wait

My mind can't grasp it.
When I like to be out there,
I like it here, too.

i just fell asleep in my room and woke up only when i thought it was friday morning...
and then sat up so fast i could have gotten whip lash when i realized that it was not, in fact, friday morning.

i had a dream about HIV break-outs and time travel within an elevator....

weird. and stupid. all at once.

i like the voodoo that you do.

i want to make pretty things. and take pretty pictures.
i can't wait for summer... i'm going to take a million photographs a day. of everything. inside, outside, my toes...

Violet Hill is an amazing song that Coldplay released today. i can't wait to hear the rest ...

i showed people at school my children's book. i got good responses.
Heather dropped my portfolio of at the U of A at noon today. i should be hearing from ACAD on May 5th or so...

i wonder if i'm good enough???

there is only one way to describe my running-around-like-a-chicken-without-a-head/sleep-deprived/jam-packed weekend. and that is with a completely contrasting, relaxing haiku..

Busy days like these.
Reading between customers.
An odd happiness.

that's all...
bob and chamomile tea is calling me..

it's an awful frustration to have... finding out that a relationship that could have "flourished" did not, because of future location issues that no longer exist, makes me ridiculous. i mean, plans change, which is why i was willing to give it a shot.. even if he ended up moving away.
it's the past and i really shouldn't think about it anymore... i've mended a friendship for what seems like the tenth time in the past four years, but i don't think i mind. i've learned that with Brian it's just like that... there will be months where we talk, and there will be months when we don't... and the cycle just repeats itself. at least i can rely on it succeeding and failing over and over haha.

overall, Brian's got a good heart and whether or not we stay friends, anyone will be lucky to have him as company.

things have started to look up. yesterday i worked on portfolio, which is always really unusually fun. i've always liked cutting and measuring and doing crafty things.. all while listening to some good tunes.

today i actually did chemistry during my spare, given that i had no good company as a distraction. had a pretty relaxed english class where i scored 84% on my reading comprehension.. which i usually get 50's on because of my always wandering mind... chemistry we did a lab where i pretty much stood there and cracked some jokes (which is about the only thing i'm good for during labs.. poor unfortunate lab partners..). after that i stood at the bus stop with Perry, Breanne and Brian for about a half an hour, and i also received what i think was the first hug i've ever had from Brian. me and Breanne stopped at my work to pick up my pay cheque and see that my boss not only gave me a raise, but he gave me ONE WHOLE DOLLAR MORE THAN WHAT I ASKED ($10.40!!).. then we went to Mt Fuji and picked up our food and talked to the lovely sushi guy, Vin, whom i love talking to about movies. and then we went to Breanne's where we ate and watched good old MTV and fat chicks trying to figure skate on the merciless Made. went to work at 3. Ryan Sasha and Jordan (aka tight ass hater) came in for a chat. Brian and Brett came in for a chat later on and i recieved another hug.. i had to ask, of course (but it's a hug nonetheless!)
at ten i came home.. i am here
ready for a jam packed weekend.
and that is definitely not an overstatement.

today... i did nothing but work on my portfolio... of course, i had to document something that happened today..

The sun is setting.
Lay in the grass more often.
Mother Nature cares.

Brian promised me he'd wait for me to come back in August so he can go to Halo for the first time with me.

last night in the wee hours...
I wanted to say
That goodnight thing we used to
But i put it off

Incense burns too fast
Underneath the canopy
Of my mellow world

neither, honestly.
life is about reaching a
Happy Medium

i'm fully aware my Haiku's are hardly standard Haiku's seeing as they don't involve nature and one line could not stand on its own... but it follows the 5-7-5 syllable rule and i'm the one with the pen, so there!

on april 16th,

"out of the way, please"
she said meanly and sternly.
i left with my tea.

yesterday i worked 3-7
and the Heather picked me up and we went to see the Grant MacEwan design show
and then we went to the house
and i worked on my U of A portfolio
and then at 11 we all took Chloe for a walk in the neighbourhood
and then we watched Sweeney Todd

Heather's going to New York in June to go this jewellry show for her line. and she invited my broke ass to go with her. would be prime.
She's having a garage sale in June as well, which i can't wait for.
and then she's moving to Holland in August.

my brother was able to take that week off so Radiohead in Vancouver is a go!
and in December he's moving to Holland... he's staying here to see me through my first semester.

i guess it's time to let go
and stand on my own two feet.

i just watched Cry-Baby starring Johnny Depp.

so cheesy and yet so sexy in an unorthodox way.

she told me today,
that in the future i'd say
"Hello, I'm sunshine"

laying in the grass and listening to Mazzy Star could be seizing the day.
i bought incense today.
remind me to download Hope Sandoval & the Warm Inventions.
i could not be more upset with Limewire than i am right now.

you are Mazzy Star
could i lay here all day long?
with you in my ears?

there's the haiku of the day. i quite like that one. less than two minutes, it took me.. that's what i like to call spontaneity.

thats it!

i'm starting a haiku journal...

hello world! i am nothing but alive today!

i sat in English and let my mind wander. i'm not blind, not deaf, not mute, i can think for myself and i've developed long term interests and goals, i have friends and family
and that's all that should matter!