it's an awful frustration to have... finding out that a relationship that could have "flourished" did not, because of future location issues that no longer exist, makes me ridiculous. i mean, plans change, which is why i was willing to give it a shot.. even if he ended up moving away.
it's the past and i really shouldn't think about it anymore... i've mended a friendship for what seems like the tenth time in the past four years, but i don't think i mind. i've learned that with Brian it's just like that... there will be months where we talk, and there will be months when we don't... and the cycle just repeats itself. at least i can rely on it succeeding and failing over and over haha.

overall, Brian's got a good heart and whether or not we stay friends, anyone will be lucky to have him as company.

things have started to look up. yesterday i worked on portfolio, which is always really unusually fun. i've always liked cutting and measuring and doing crafty things.. all while listening to some good tunes.

today i actually did chemistry during my spare, given that i had no good company as a distraction. had a pretty relaxed english class where i scored 84% on my reading comprehension.. which i usually get 50's on because of my always wandering mind... chemistry we did a lab where i pretty much stood there and cracked some jokes (which is about the only thing i'm good for during labs.. poor unfortunate lab partners..). after that i stood at the bus stop with Perry, Breanne and Brian for about a half an hour, and i also received what i think was the first hug i've ever had from Brian. me and Breanne stopped at my work to pick up my pay cheque and see that my boss not only gave me a raise, but he gave me ONE WHOLE DOLLAR MORE THAN WHAT I ASKED ($10.40!!).. then we went to Mt Fuji and picked up our food and talked to the lovely sushi guy, Vin, whom i love talking to about movies. and then we went to Breanne's where we ate and watched good old MTV and fat chicks trying to figure skate on the merciless Made. went to work at 3. Ryan Sasha and Jordan (aka tight ass hater) came in for a chat. Brian and Brett came in for a chat later on and i recieved another hug.. i had to ask, of course (but it's a hug nonetheless!)
at ten i came home.. i am here
ready for a jam packed weekend.
and that is definitely not an overstatement.