so i admit that in the past couple months i allowed myself to get very attached to someone in a very short amount of time. sharing a common interest in many things, our personalities seemed near perfect together. of course, it didn't work out. but i am pretty happy that i was so open with him that i didn't stifle any feelings i felt and i allowed myself to pursue that human connection in a reckless manner.

in the wee hours of the morning last night, i watched and recorded this show called "Making Sense of the Sixties". it discussed the American counterculture of drugs and sex, peace and love. something that stood out for me was that these people were all about living.

living is different for many people. to some it could mean their nine to five jobs, their house, their cars, their education and most importantly, their salary.
for others like myself, it means being happy and fulfilling your purpose in life, whether you're scraping money together to pay rent for a shit hole apartment, or wiping your ass with it. it also means realizing that there is a whole world to experience and i am just one in 6 billion people. that is a ton of people.

doesn't that make you feel small. so incredibly insignificant, hey. we're all so busy and so rushed.. i gotta do this by this time, i need to go here before i go there..

i just want to lay in the grass for awhile.

i just want to do my portfolio. i wish i could work on it all day long, instead of having to worry about school work as well.

as for Moccassin Boy aka Heath Ledger aka Dave from Halo, he is 20 years old today, which somehow adds to his appeal, probably because he is no longer a teen, but a real man. and when i tell people about him, twenty years old just sounds more satisfying. when he came home from the bar last night he texted me and asked me out. how wonderful the night life can be! i am completely serious when saying that. i've met so many really cool people as a result of loud music and reasonable intakes of alcohol!

i've finished Into The Wild. i am in desperate need of a new book

new book!!!!