ever since i watched Pulp Fiction, i've been obsessed with that style. it's so classic. movies are ridiculously influential. and music. films and music = totally influential.

i become a totally new person with every new film i watch or every new band i listen to. i go through these mind phases, i like to call them, where i have a mini epiphany until the next band or film i experience. for instance, after listening to Enya, Pilate or Coldplay, i become this philosophical persona. and ten minutes later i can listen to Red Hot Chili Peppers and decide to live life on the edge. whereas, after i listen to Mute Math i attain this chill, easygoing laid back ego. but then i listen to The Shins and become a green tea drinking, exercise loving, peace loving freak. after listening to some Justice, MSTRKRFT or Tiesto, i have this care-free nutso mind-set.

as for movies, i can watch Pulp Fiction and create an aura made of pure gold and bask in it's classiness. then i watch Garden State and become the same person i become when i listen to Coldplay or Pilate. watching Amelie is my favorite because i get so incredibly inspired and i get all artsy. instead, watching Requiem For A Dream creates a risky mind-set. but i become a hopeless romantic after watching Across The Universe.

you can see where i find it difficult to define who i really am. but it doesn't bother me so much. i love that movies and music do that to me. it's like putting on clothes in the morning.. what are my characteristics going to be today?

it's awesome.

as for new years resolution, mine is to have none. because i never follow through. i usually get everything done when i don't plan on it, so things should go smoothly if i don't plan or force them to.

for a few weeks now i've known deep down my calling, or destiny, on this earth. i haven't shared it yet so here it is, my declaration:

WHEN I GROW UP I WANT TO BE A DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY.

there it is. my future, what i have been/will be striving for.
that's a pretty stressful thing for me to say, it makes me anxious. and nervous, but excited.

i think what i really want is to make people feel a certain way after they watch a film, just how films do it for me.