it's me.

i am watching Jumanji with my brother. it's an ok movie. before that i finished watching Babel. i'm not really sure how to interpret that movie. it seemed a little bit pointless, i definitely wasn't everything i thought it would be.
a movie i really want to see is Green Street Hooligans but i can't find it anywhere. it's upsetting. i really hate that. there's a bunch of movies i would love to see, and once i get to the movie store, i can't seem to think of any of them. and the one movie i remember every single time, they never have.

me, my brother and Jocelyn rented Babel Thursday night. she bought me a lollipop. i still haven't finished it. i like to consider it a working progress.

i also started reading this book that my mom just finished reading. it's called "Eat, Pray, Love." about a woman who moves to Italy for four months to eat, then moves to India for four months to meditate, and then to Indonesia for four months where she meets her new husband. i forgot to mention that this travelling all takes place after her divorce, and it's all a true story. i really like it so far. i recommend it to you, whoever is reading this.

my mom says the only way i'll be comfortable with speaking Italian is if she sends me there by myself for 3 months. i've been there 7 times before, and i know how to speak it, but i never speak it. i get shy and i hate messing up so i don't really like speaking it. i would totally go to Italy by myself for 3 months under these conditions: 1) i had someone direct me through airports because they're intimidating and i'd get lost in Frankfurt for SURE, 2) i didn't visit family the whole time.

by the second condition, i mean i would want to go all over Italy, and not just stay in my mom's town where my family and friends are. that's when i tend to bottle up and not show my personality. i'm just afraid my family won't understand who i am if i attempted to show my personality more than i already do.

plus, when i'm in Italy i always wish i could meet people and flirt, you know, but my friends in Tuenno are all so tightly knit and everyone knows everyone so if i even attempted to get close with one of the guys, the whole town may find out by the next morning.

on another note, i had my graduation photos yesterday. it started with me really not wanting to go, i showed up with a nice shirt and then i had sweatpants tucked into my soccer socks on the bottom. i refused to take full body shots. the make up artist sat me down and powered my face. and all the while i was thinking about the particles of oil and grease and skin cells of the previous person nesting into my own skin.

but once it came down to it, i was sitting in front of the camera with all lights on me and she gave me a mirror and i couldn't believe how awesome i looked. my last picture i had the hat on and she passed me a mirror to see me with the hat and i half-gawked at my reflection. i looked really good, and i looked like a graduate. neither of those realizations i couldn't bring myself to believe.

she took about twenty shots. now i just need to graduate.