it has been almost a week since i've written. lots has happened, i'm a couple shades darker, several sit-ups stronger, a few bucks richer and i'm pretty anxious.
been all around Edmonton lately showing around another set of cousins, however these ones are more fun. Cristina is 21 and Roberta is 15. went to Fort Edmonton for the second time this summer. went to the Telus world of science (what is up with that name). was a pretty educational day and i think my brain's in gear for school. after an episode of heart disease on Oprah, solving the brain teasers at the odyssium, and a refreshment of constellations in our night sky, i can accomplish just about anything.

Kevin and Anthony also arrived today and tomorrow i'm going to Whyte Avenue. ooh yeah i bought this brilliant shirt from Quiksilver at west edmonton mall the other day.
i think i've reached total teeny bopper in this entry and i will even more after i say what i have to say next.

i think i have huge issues with dating or something. everytime i am presented with a situation where it may leave me interlocked with a guy, i get totally awkward.. well not awkward, just really really uptight. recently this guy i went to junior high with told me he wanted to take me a date. and i just sort of cringed at the idea. and i don't know why. he's pretty hot and everything, and i think it's cute that we "went out" in grade 5 and we'd be able to find ourself in the same position now. but it's like i have no idea how to react when he calls me babe or hun.. it's an oh my god moment. and not as good as i'd like it to be.

it's been way too long, i guess. i have lost all of my relationship knowledge and experience and returned to grade 3.

then again, i think i would totally go out with him if i thought better of myself. it seems for every decision i have to make, i avoid making it because of where i'm at. i have gained weight in the past year or so and no one seems to let me forget it. family friends and relatives who i don't see on a regular basis have comments on how i've changed and how they don't recognize me and how i used to be so skinny. and i sit there thinking, when was this time when i was so skinny?! i have no recollection of this time whatsoever. i absolutely hate shopping solely because it depresses me. i wear my sweatpants every day, it seems, and i am overflowing my closet with hoodies left right and center. i dress like it's winter.

there are those days that are better, of course, but i guess just like the first day on the job, i have to stick with it and suck it up, and as time progresses, things will get better.

i can't believe i'm letting this put me into a complete social prison