super trouper

oh my God. it's come to the point where i want to be left alone. i never thought i could ever ignore text messages. from anyone, not even a guy.
but i did.
i don't know what it is, it's just this icky awkward feeling when he talks to me.
sometimes i can't believe how superficial i am. we get along great over the internet and we hang out that one day after work and i couldn't bear another second. it seems i base things solely on physical attraction. i don't think it's necessarily bad for a girl my age. ..and just like that, i'm totally utterly completely turned off.

i've become Breanne. she used to say she is unable to like anyone, or have crushes. i'm like that.


will i be lonely forever? i ask myself. i watched Beverly Hills 90210 today and Donna caught David cheating. he was having sex with Ariel. when he knows Donna always wanted to save herself for marriage. isn't that a dick thing to do? if i were Donna i'd feel like a loser. and then she told Brenda she doesn't want to be lonely. she was thinking of giving up her morals so she wouldn't be lonely.

i may be physically lonely, but i don't feel it. a relationship just seems unreasonable to me at this point in time. i want to save that stuff for when i can handle that stuff maturely and reasonably.

it doesn't feel like it's been a year and some