detox day 3

i haven't eaten in 3 days. and i am so fed up.
like, i want to strangle myself. you really don't realize that the worst habit we have as humans is eating, and when you plan on not eating for 7-10 days you actually want to murder someone. and just because this is the first time i've ever been stubborn about a situation like this, i can't just quit. i feel like i have to prove to myself that i can.
but i'm beginning to think that maybe i can't and that i'll be miserable and lazy with low metabolism for the rest of my life.
i just fucking blew up because my mom wanted me to walk with her to the mailbox. and i told her time and time again that i don't feel like going anywhere. she keeps asking so i walk to the front door put on my shoes and i proceed in a very fast aggravated frustrated angry walk. half way down the driveway i turn around and yell at her asking why she's making me go with her when i don't feel like doing anything. especially now. when i haven't eaten in 3 days, i work at a fucking coffee place where i get to stand in front of brownies and pastries and mocca's and hot chocolate's and smoothies for 8 hours.

and then she tells me to forget about picking me up on Friday night at 3 in the morning. when i'm supposed to be going to Travis's party, and i haven't seen him or any of the other people that will be attending, in nearly one year.

plus, i just found out that this guy i talked about in an earlier entry actually fucking READS THIS and i didn't write very nice things concerning him.
like what the fuck.

no one in their right minds even reads this. i didn't think anybody ever cared about what the fuck goes on in my life everyday.

fucking fuck i want to murder someone. and pull out my freshly streaked blonde hair.
ERGEIYFGBEYIF