suck it up

so i thought i was going to have a relaxed day. but turns out i had work from 7am - 3pm. so i worked rush hour upon rush hour for 8 hours instead of hanging out with Breanne.
it seems i'm telling myself to "suck it up" a lot. i mean, i'm working a lot. everday. and it gets stressful. it's probably the worst choice ever for a first job. but i've been sucking it up and it's gotten better. at first i just wanted to go home and cry (ok, maybe that was partially due to my brother leaving), but i wanted to quit after only a few days. and i usually quit everything that gets too hard. i'm not sure, maybe it's because i'm getting money out of it, but i go to work everyday feeling more and more confident. i just can't wait to get this paycheck to have some concrete proof. my mom's even proud that i've been putting in so many hours. that just makes me happy. i feel like i can handle anything. well not really, i just feel like if i just stick with something it'll always get better. if i just suck it up things will always get better. for instance i've been setting reasonable bedtimes for myself so i'm able to get up in the morning. little things like waking up at 5:45 in the morning, not going on MSN for really long periods of time, doing laundry, and not feeling like i have this crazy addiction to the computer make me feel like i'm growing up and i'm really happy about that.

or maybe i'm just a loser.

but on second thought, even though i have been growing up little by little, there's still things that i do to have some mellow fun. i'll leave that undisclosed.