nobody listens to techno let's go

i have to fill up this space fast because the previous font color doesn't go with my new layout so i have to fix it
and this entry will do that =)

there's a lot of music artists that are trying desperately to re-invent themselves. come up with someone new to attract a bigger crowd. Justin Timberlake's done it, Nelly Furtado, Good Charlotte, and Hilary Duff, a lot of others too. they incorporate a bit of dance/techno to their songs. that's what i've noticed, anyways. not saying it's a bad thing, but Justin definitely started it all. worked out awesome for him.

people may think they're just putting on a show. but what i've come to realize is that everyone is putting on a show. twenty four/seven.

people have said i put on a show for people. yes, that is a possibility. there's something about me people don't know. there are people who think they know me better them i know myself. this puzzles me simply because i change from day to day. one day i may stand for one thing and the next day i could go completely against it. when i stand for something, say i'm backing up one of my beliefs, if i am debating with someone it's really quite funny because in my head i am always able to think of things to go against what i say. i obviously don't say it because that would be going against what i am saying. i'm a really confusing person. sometimes i may start fights for no reason, and sometimes i start fights for very valid reasons.

i am unpredictable, i don't know myself, so how can others know me better than i do ? i am controlling my thoughts, i am controlling those little background thoughts that i'm thinking right now. i am misunderstood plenty of times. sometimes i say things the wrong way. i mean something but people take it as something completely different. i'm not too worried about it, though. i mean, i know my intentions, God knows my intentions. that's all that really matters to me in the end.

i remember learning something so valuable from the movie 8 Mile. k, so the point of rap battles is to diss your opponent right? well i loved how at the end he dissed himself so when it came to the other guy's turn, he was speechless 'cause he didn't know what to say that hasn't already been said. that's always in the back of my mind. sometimes i accuse myself of too much, so that at least no one can accuse me of it. i would much rather cut myself down instead of giving other people the satisfaction of doing it.

i actually really fuckin hate Hilary Duff. she is irritating me to the MAX.
i had a good nap today. i have an Italian mid term tomorrow.

i think i'm going run later on. i took my pills today. hopefully my face starts getting better. finally. since grade six it's been bad. doesn't that just suck ass ? i mean, all these years having to wake up ten minutes earlier just to put make-up on. once that's gone i'll be so happy.

i hate my kleenex box. why are kleenex boxes so fkn ugly. honestly, it bugs me. when i re-arrange my room (which is an frequent occurrence), it always brings me down that the kleenex boxes that my mom buys are so ugly. i mean, it's got a light pink background with these ugly white flowers on it.

when we were driving home today, i thought of an idea for a car. you unlock the car, sit down in the driver's seat, but you can't turn on the car unless you breath into a breathalizer installed in your car. if alcohol is detected on your breath, the car won't start no matter what. if no alcohol is detected, then it allows you to start the car. i told my mom my genius idea, but apparently she read something like that somewhere already. don't you just fkn hate that, it's so hard to come up with new things.
there's 6 billion people on this earth, it's hard to think that what you think is so original that no one else in the world thought about it as well. but when i think of something cool, i usually do nothing about it because i assume it's already been done.

i need to start looking for a job this summer. i would really love to go to Europe. i doubt that's going to happen. plus, i've done more travelling than people do in a whole lifetime. maybe this summer i should start getting work experience in a field that i would consider when i'm older. plus i'll get money. and i love money so i can't go wrong.

summer after this one though, i am for sure going nuts on travelling. fuck i love travelling. sometimes it's a downfall though. maybe this is a conceited statement, but i've learned a ton about myself through travelling. i mean, going to Rome, Florence, Venice, and Turin and places like that i discover a lot about my own interests. i love art and the significance of it. going to Rome, i developed that. i've seen more and experienced more. and coming back to a place like Edmonton, i realize how unimportant some things are when there's a whole globe to discover. i just get frustrated with being in this city where minor things are made to be a huge deal.

see, as of right now, i thought to myself "well, it depends. i mean, just because it's Edmonton doesn't mean it's uninteresting or minor. i'm not that much of a difficult person that i can't even enjoy my own city." i don't even know where i stand on things anymore. it's ridiculous lol.

maybe i'm like an animal and i adapt with the seasons. wait, that;s a bad analogy. i'm just a person that needs a change sometimes. i like my surrounding, setting and atmosphere to change. it gives me motivation. it's always the same thing and i become unmotivated and lazy. like my bedroom. i change it at least 10 times a year. not because i'm psycho (well maybe a little bit), but also because i like to walk into my room and have it different. i'm more willing to clean it and do my homework and in some cases, even be more social. that's just what it does for me.

anyways, this should be long enough to fill up some space. that's what it is to you guys, anyways, since i am pretty sure you won't read all of the above. but it's more than just a space filler for me, i now conclude.