super freak

kay so i woke up this morning
went to Italian School, and actually put some effort into my appearance, which i usually don't on Saturday morning, i pretty much roll out of bed and put my contacts in. but today i felt like i could take on the world. no that's a lie, but i have decided that i will put as much effort into my look as possible because i realized a few weekends ago, when i was working with Stephanie, that if i look really good, i tend to be happier to do things, like chores and what not. so anyways, i get to italian school, and Luca Marco Joe and Vince are playing Scopa (an italian card game) and Luca looks over to me and is like "wow you don't look half bad today." haha, what a greeting, but i knew it was true so i agreed. italian school's weird for me, one of my really good friends goes there too. her name's Elisse, i've known her.. like.. the minute she was born pretty much. her birthday is this month. she's really sweet, though, we're not like best friends, but her dad and my mom grew up in Italy together and our parents are part of the same Italian club (no, it's not the Mafia). we have home videos of when we were first-borns together. it's actually really sweet to have that kind of relationship with someone. anyways, she's pretty much who i hang out with Saturday mornings, and my mafia of course. the only 4 guys in our class, and pretty much the only 4 guys who have been in my class since i was 9. i never really talk to the other girls though, i mean, even if the guys are busy playing cards, and Elisse isn't there, i feel more comfortable just being a loner than talking to them haha. damn i'm so superficial.

so yeah, since it was interviews, my mom came at 11:30 to see my teacher and then i went home. i didn't have dance because my ballet teacher was at her sister's wedding, and she couldn't get a sub, so class was cancelled. so i went home, and locked myself in my room of course. my whole day has been filled with movies and chemistry. i've watched four movies on my computer. Material Girls, Thirteen, Save The Last Dance 2 (yeah it exists), and John Tucker Must Die. it's on this really sweet site i am now addicted to. it's got TONS of awesome movies, and i can't wait to watch all of them. yes, that's right. i'm determined to watch all of them.
eventually, of course.
wow, i'm such a freak haha. but i've never been happier. my parents went to my aunt's tonight while i was watching John Tucker, so i was home alone, and i went out to the kitchen to scavenge for some food, and i opened the fridge and there was a huge thing of chopped up carrots and celery and broccoli. and it just made my heart swell, i spoke to the emptiness and said "oh mother, i love you." yes, i said it out loud and then i thought "if only she could hear me say these things...maybe i should send her a text message telling her how much i love her. she might think i'm psycho though. i swear i'm bi polar." yes, those thoughts went through my head. we were in the car today, and we had this heated conversation about school and i ended up getting so incredibly angry at her i was yelling. so i turned my music up and then five minutes later i see a happy face drawn onto a street sign and i start laughing. and she's like, whats so funny. and i tell her and i'm laughing and happy like nothing had even happened five minutes earlier.
she must think i'm a freak.
but the reason i told the emptiness that i love my mom, was because here i was, looking at this huge container of vegetables, and it just made me so happy that my mom would take the time and effort to wash them and cut them, just so we'd have something healthy to eat. and i ate those vegetables like they were Willy Wonka's golden eggs.
my brother was considering going to Italy, AND Holland. and apparently Heather's going to come too. and apparently, we're going to have to come back by ourselves because my brother might decide to look for a job in Europe. how exciting. go on vacation, and then leave bawling your eyes out because you're gonna hafta leave your brother/best friend halfway across the world.

shit, i can't even think about it. i can't even think about this house that i call home, without my brother being in the basement from time to time. what if i need to have a motivational talk ?! what if i need to discuss my future with someone ?! what if i need to beg someone for money ?! what if i need to steal someones clothes ?! what if i need to watch movies with someone ?! what if i need to get angry at someone ?! OHMYGOD. i don't know what i'm going to do without him. besides the fact, of course, that i'll have his car in my possession. and once that happens i am surely getting the seats upholstered in Damask, and i might add some comforting pillows and such. but no car with really nice seats and pillows is worth not having my brother around.

Jordan really needs to get onto this invention of his for teleportation. like, ASAP i tell you.

hmm. i'm such a freak. but i ate my vegetables today. talk about nutritional value hey ?
speaking of freak, i watched some Criss Angel today and might i be pleased to inform you that he is a very, very, very, very, sexy man.