who'll come back for you?

trust is an issue for everyone. for me, it can be.
i can't fully trust some of the most important people in my life.
maybe that means i have trust issues, but it seems i trust strangers more than people i know.

sometimes i think i have trouble trusting some people for a few reasons.
1) i don't feel worth keeping a promise to
2) if i was keeping a certain promise like that to someone, i myself wouldn't keep it
3) i make myself vulnerable, and usually give everyone a chance to stab me in the back
on the other hand, i easily trust people too, unless they give me a reason not to. it's probably easier to trust people you just meet though, because even if they don't follow through it's not a blow to the heart. it's funny how that works. it should be easier to trust people closer to you and difficult to trust strangers rather than the other way around...

you know how i picture it?
you know in the Titanic, when Jack is handcuffed to that column in the bottom of the ship? and when Rose finds him, she goes to find help and she promises to come back?
well, i put myself in Jack's situation.
if i was handcuffed to a sinking ship, who would come back for me? i close my eyes and place myself in that situation, and then i alternate who's in Rose's position. if you were going to drown in a sinking ship, who do you think you'd feel most comfortable knowing they had your life in their hands?

and when you stand there handcuffed, and they go to find help, what are you thinking? sometimes it's "oh shit, i pretty much committed suicide" if you feel you don't trust that person will come back for you. but sometimes it's "i can't wait to get out of here" if you feel you do trust that they will come back for you.

it's weird to think about. who'll come back for you?