sentimentals

- i'm going to regret being a ballet dancer when i'm older. my ballet teacer, Ms. Crystal, is close to being broken. sometimes watching her makes my joints hurt. i'm pretty scared i'm not gonna lie. and everytime i go on pointe, i can feel my bones slowly deteriorating.
cool hey

-kay so i strongly disagree with the ten commandments. sure i may be sounding really naive and dumb. and i guess they're cool to a certain extent, and maybe i just think this way because of what my religion teacher says, but if the ten commandments are the requirements to go to heaven then we're all pretty much doomed to hell. know how i know? because i'm pretty sure everyone on this Earth has had dirty thoughts. and guess what, one of the ten commandments forbids that. so in lamest terms, i'm ending up in the depths of the depths of hell. because that's pretty much the ingredients of my brain.

- everytime i type brain, i write brian and i hafta delete it. but the thought of Brian never leaves my mind.
sucky hey

-going to Italy with my brother and my cousin this summer. who can't wait? I CAN'T. this is gonna be the first time i go there in two consecutive years. i am actually so fucking excited. i miss it so much. and my brother wants to go back to Cinque Terre. last time we went there and we did two of the four hikes. one of them was like 3 hours, the other one was the Lover's Walk. and then there's two other ones. one is like 5 hours or something, but it started raining so we didn't do it. it's funny, we look at pictures from that, us four as a family, red-faced, my dad without his shirt on haha, my brother carrying the knapsacks, my dad's binoculurs around his neck, my mom carrying her camera. then there's me, my hair up in this bun, my glasses on, wearing a white halter top and a white skirt. carrying a walking stick. haha. it makes me laugh. just everything about that place, is so familiar. and i love seeing all that there is to see. i'm so lucky to have been able to experience all this, and i am so grateful all the time. i mean, there's nowhere else i would rather be. i feel so at home, sometimes i feel more at home there than i do here. i would give anything to be in that car with my mom in the front, my uncle driving, me and the two beautiful little cousins sleeping on me in the back. i remember just listening to my music.. looking out the window... seeing the fields upon fields of sunflowers.. thinking "this is Tuscany. this is Tuscany. i am on a road trip from Torino, through Tuscany, to Rome." i mean, who ever gets the chance to say or even think that?! i just miss it so much. the feeling i miss most is sitting at the edge of the water of Lago di Tovel. we go there every time, take the walk around the lake.. it's just amazing. and the feeling i get is just.. i don't even know the words to describe it.
i mean, i go there and i realize what life is all about. i realize what it means to have fun. i realize how amazing it is to communicate and make friends with people of a completely different culture. i remember, i went there when i was 14, i had just finished grade 8. i reunited with all my friends there, and we hung out all the time and everything, and i remember going into grade 9, and just being amazed at how easy it was to make friends. grade 9 was the year i broke out of my shell. definitely. i guess we take advantage of how easy it is to communicate with people. it's not until you don't have the language in common that you realize how easy it is..
and this summer, to go there with my brother.. it'll be amazing. we'll go everywhere. i mean, i went with my brother when i was 10, just me and him, but that's not the same. now we're older, i'll be going into grade twelve, he'll be a graduate from University, and we're gonna party hard, travel lots, take tons of pictures, meet lots of people, laugh.. and just make a ton of memories. fuck. i'm getting sentimental. i'll stop now.

- so my cousin Francesco, he's my dad's brother's son, also known as a disrespectful prick who UGH. makes me angry. ..long story, my dad and his brother don't talk anymore. 'cause he's a fucking money stealer and alcoholic. anyways, Francesco, he's 18, and dropped out of school and shit. by the way he lives in Italy.. so yeah, he got into a car accident. the car flipped over and skidded and did everything a car could possibly do and then he smashed into a stone wall. fucking dummie. ends up in the hospital with a few broken vertebrae.

- so Joe was about to come last night. like, it was so close to happening. i was sitting there, with the plan in my head, i had my shoes in my hand, my coat over my arm, pockets filled with a tin packed with 3 cigarettes, a lighter and kleenex to stop it from clanking around. had my keys just in case, my mitts, my cell phone up my sleeve, my ipod in my ear and in my pouch. it was about 12:15 or so, about the time he was supposed to call to tell me he was on his way. calls me up and tells me he can't come. because something happened. but WOW. it's the closest we've ever gotten haha. my legs are pretty nicely shaven though, since i shaved them everyday this weekend 'cause we planned for me to sneak out every single night haha. we have a different plan for next time though. hopefully it goes the way it's planned.

- so me and Leigha are gonna get magnetic nipple rings so that our boobs will be drawn together when in close contact. 'cause, you know, our nipples are in close contact almost.. all the time.

- getting a Brazilian with Stephanie and Britnee before December 9. i kinda can't wait. i'm pretty excited to see if i have a high pain tolerance or not. for some reason i think i do. i can take ANY pain. pffft.

- i got 18/40 on my social test today. it's all your fault, blog. fuuuuuuck. i almost cried.

- saw Joe today at lunch today for the first time in like 2 weeks. and yeah.. he was sweet today.. 'cause i usually end up going to class after in a bad mood. but this time i wasn't =)

- so in math i sit by Breanne now. a way better pertner than Brenden. definitely. me and her are like twins i swear.. lmao. Brenden even said that. we're fabulous. =)

- i'd probably do better in a self-taught social class. seriously. my social teacher sucks major ass munches.

- i'm feelings pretty good right now. minus anything to do with school.

- my brother's girlfriend is pretty cool. she's pretty too. we had this big dinner yesterday for my aunt and uncle's 46th anniversary. she came. she's funny haha. i completely approve. it's weird. my brother never has girlfriends. he never has time. it's cool that he found someone he could make time for though. he's probably a good boyfriend too. i mean, just the way he is with people. he's really generous, and patient. and he's funny. like, he laughs at my jokes. and it makes me feel good about myself. and he doesn't treat me like a little sister, he treats me like i'm one of his friends. he's not like embarrassed to take me places where his friends are gonna be. his friends are pretty cool. some are slightly attractive as well.. ahem. but yeah, sometimes i don't see him for weeks. and when i do he's always like "OH LOOK IT'S MY LITTLE SISTER CHRISTINE! COME HERE AND GIVE YOUR BIG BROTHER A HUG" lmao. and then i'm like "you're weird" and i make it all awkward. i have this scrunched up look on my face and have to bite my tongue before i give him a hug. but deep down i love him. i love having an older brother like him.

- it just makes me mad when he doesn't reply to my text messages.

- so life's good. just like that cell phone commercial for LG or whatever. school's the only downer. and even with that i'm being a mix of ignorant and positive. in Social, i can always bring my mark up with big projects he gives us 'cause i do shitty on his tests, but Social's not really my worst subject. Biology i'm doing fairly well, always room for improvement, but i'm above 80.. i think, and that's all that really matters. Religion, we're having a Moses test on thursday which i can study for and get good on to bring my 67 up. PLUS, i think i'm the only one who actually did their 10 hours of service so far haha. Math, last time i checked i brought it up one percent to 71%, and it still a ways to go since i got 90% on this one worksheet that he still had to add. and i have a test Friday that i will study hard for to make my mommy proud. and i'll do good and my world will finally be filled with lollipops, unicorns and rainbows. i love my mom.

- well since this is dragging on, i would like to say sorry for all the sentimentalities. lol.