donnie darko

so yeah. here's my dedication to Donnie Darko, another favorite of mine:

Sean Smith: Beer and pussy. That's all I need. Ronald Fisher: We gotta find ourselves a Smurfette. Sean Smith: Smurfette? Ronald Fisher: Yeah, not some tight-ass Middlesex chick, right? Like this cute little blonde that will get down and dirty with the guys. Like Smurfette does. Donnie: Smurfette doesn't fuck. Ronald Fisher: That's bullshit. Smurfette fucks all the other Smurfs. Why do you think Papa Smurf made her? Because all the other Smurfs were getting too horny. Sean Smith: No, no, no, not Vanity. I heard he was a homosexual. Ronald Fisher: Okay, then, you know what? She fucks them and Vanity watches. Okay? Sean Smith: What about Papa Smurf? I mean, he must get in on all the action. Ronald Fisher: Yeah, what he does, he films the gang-bang, and he beats off to the tape. Donnie: [shouts] First of all, Papa Smurf didn't create Smurfette. Gargamel did. She was sent in as Gargamel's evil spy with the intention of destroying the Smurf village. But the overwhelming goodness of the Smurf way of life transformed her. And as for the whole gang-bang scenario, it just couldn't happen. Smurfs are asexual. They don't even have... reproductive organs under those little, white pants. It's just so illogical, you know, about being a Smurf. You know, what's the point of living... if you don't have a dick? Sean Smith: [pause] Dammit, Donnie. Why you gotta get all smart on us?

Donnie: I made a new friend today. Dr. Lilian Thurman: Real or imaginary? Donnie: Imaginary.

Frank: 28 days... six hours... 42 minutes... 12 seconds. That... is when the world... will end.

Donnie: Why do you wear that stupid bunny suit? Frank: Why are you wearing that stupid man suit?

Donnie: [in a letter] Dear Roberta Sparrow, I have reached the end of your book and... there are so many things that I need to ask you. Sometimes I'm afraid of what you might tell me. Sometimes I'm afraid that you'll tell me that this is not a work of fiction. I can only hope that the answers will come to me in my sleep. I hope that when the world comes to an end, I can breathe a sigh of relief, because there will be so much to look forward to.

Sean Smith: [at the bus stop ] Good shit, eh? Donnie: Dude, it's a fucking cigarette.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: What did Roberta Sparrow say to you? Donnie: She said "Every living creature on earth dies alone".

Donnie: Ling Ling finds a wallet on the ground filled with money. She takes the wallet to the address on the driver's license but keeps the money inside the wallet. [Scoffs] Donnie: I-I'm sorry Mrs. Farmer. I don't get this. Donnie: Life isn't that simple. I mean who cares if Ling Ling returns the wallet and keeps the money? It has nothing to do with either fear or love. Kitty Farmer: Fear and love are the deepest of human emotions. Donnie: Okay. But you're not listening to me. There are other things that need to be taken into account here. Like the whole spectrum of human emotion. You can't just lump everything into these two categories and then just deny everything else!

Karen Pommeroy: This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that Cellar Door is the most beautiful.

Emily Bates: Mom said the school is closed today because it's flooded, and there's feces everywhere! Susie Bates: What are feces? Emily Bates: Baby mice. Susie Bates: Aww.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you still think about girls a lot? Donnie: [Under hypnosis] Yeah. Dr. Lilian Thurman: How are things going at school? Donnie: I think about girls a lot. Dr. Lilian Thurman: I asked you about school, Donnie. Donnie: I think about fucking a lot, in school. Dr. Lilian Thurman: What else do you think about, when you're at school? Donnie: Married With Children. Dr. Lilian Thurman: Do you think about your family? Donnie: I just turn down the volume and think about fucking Christina Applegate. Dr. Lilian Thurman: I asked you about your family. Donnie: [Chuckling] No, I don't think about fucking my family, that's gross.

Rose Darko: Our son just called me a bitch. Edward Darko: You're not a bitch. You're bitchin', but you're not a bitch.

Dr. Lilian Thurman: Donnie, an athiest is someone who denies altogether the existance of God. You're an agnostic. An agnostic is someone who believe that there can be no proof of the existance of God, but does not deny the possibility that God exists.

Jim Cunningham: Son... DO YOU SEE THIS? This is an Anger Prisoner. A textbook example. DO YOU SEE THE FEAR, PEOPLE? This boy is scared to death of the truth. Son, it breaks my heart to say this, but I believe you are a very troubled and confused young man. I believe you are searching for the answers in all the wrong places... Donnie: You're right, actually. I am pretty- I'm, I'm pretty troubled and I'm, I'm pretty confused. But I... and I'm afraid. Really, really afraid. Really afraid. But I... I... I think you're the fucking Antichrist.

Gretchen: My mom had to get a restraining order against my step dad. He has emotional problems. Donnie: Oh, I have those too. What kind does your step dad have? Gretchen: He stabbed my mom four times in the chest. Donnie: Oh.

Donnie: You are such a fuckass. Elizabeth: Did you just call me a fuckass? You can go suck a fuck. Donnie: Oh, please, tell me Elizabeth, how exactly does one suck a fuck?

Donnie: Frank, when's this gonna stop? Frank: You should already know that.

haha. it's so fucked up it's amazing.